Answer:
(Fatwa: 412/412M-1429)
If the lust is overwhelming and it is difficult to control, then it is admissible to get the above thing done with the hands of wife. You should not do it with your own hands and should not be accustomed to it.
(2) There is no problem, this act is allowable.
Allah (Subhana Wa Ta’ala) knows Best
Darul Ifta,
Darul Uloom Deoband
