My father doesnt go in my wife appartment but still she says my father is ghair mehram. from her family side always her cousin brother 5-6 years older to her talks as a elder, even though she has a lot of relatives. i said her cousin as ghair mehram she must avoid him and if she comes infront of him then she is disobeying her husband for which i will not forgive her. so my wife must avoid him or not? due to a lot of arguments between myself and my wife we are not getting compromised and iam in canada and my wife is not happy with the arguments and scared of me now when iam trying to convince her she is not responding my phone calls and she says she will listen to her parents only. my question: after marriage wife has to listen to her parents or to husband?
The father of husband (father-in-law) is mahram for wife. Your wife is not correct. It is necessary for a woman to observe purdah with non-mahram he is a relative or not, and it is necessary to avoid talking without any need. Probably, your wife is not aware of the status of husband. It is not lawful to disobey parents but she should preferably obey her husband after marriage.
Allah (Subhana Wa Ta’ala) knows Best
Darul Uloom Deoband