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What To Read For A Good Proposal

Answered according to Hanafi Fiqh by Darulifta Azaadville

Question:

What should one read for a good proposal?

Answer:

Marriage is one of the most important aspects of one’s life. When searching for a suitable spouse, seeking good counsel from the right people is of paramount importance. First and foremost, one must consult with one’s parents, seek their guidance and Duaas.

Along with adopting the means, asking help from Allah is the most important and beneficial way to get good proposals. Using Duaas mentioned in the Qur’an and Hadeeth is amongst the most effective ways of attracting the Help of Allah. Allah will guide you to finding the right spouse.

The search for the ‘right one’ begins from one’s self. One has to be right himself to get someone right.

Allah has created a connection between people of the same nature. Thus, vulgar and unchaste women are inclined towards vulgar and unchaste men and vice versa. Similarly, pure and chaste women show inclination towards pure and decent men and vice versa. As such, one ends up with a spouse according to one’s own character and nature. Every person must work to improve his/her conduct, morals, values and ethics. We have to make ourselves people of substance. A person should have worth and value. A two dimensional effort is required from each person:

a) Psychological

Praiseworthy qualities and characteristics need to be embedded in one’s life. Kindness, gentleness, compassion, mercy, softness, a sense of understanding, tolerance, well-wishing, sincerity and other such traits should be radiant from one’s demeanour. Blameworthy traits such as intolerance, anger, hatred, malice, crudeness, pride, stubbornness and the like need to be effaced from one’s disposition. A sincere effort to become more Allah-conscious is vital, for this has an impact on one’s psychology.

b) Spiritual

Along with an effort to improve one’s psychological balance, one must exert concerted pressure on the soul for it to elevate to lofty ranks and stations. We need to become men and women of Allah. All good and prosperity is acquired simply by being close to Allah. One who befriends a king has access to the king and his treasures. Whoever befriends Allah will have VIP treatment in this world and the Hereafter.

Much of the psychological balance discussed above is achieved by working on one’s soul. It is highly recommended and encouraged to seek out Mashaaikh under whom one can train and tame one’s psyche and base desires. In addition to taming one’s soul, one needs to make one’s life flourish with true and devout worship of Almighty Allah. The idea is to become good; goodness in essence is being close to Allah. This is the door to all goodness and virtue.

As per request, we have included some recommendations on what you can read in seeking Allah Ta’aala’s help for a good proposal:-

Read Durood Shareef abundantly, for Durood Shareef is an excellent way of attracting the Mercy of Allah and the benefits of Durood Shareef are known to one and all.

The following Ayah (verse) of the Holy Qur’aan is the Du’aa of Ibraheem Alayhissalam when he supplicated to Allah and Allah answered. Pondering over the meaning, you may recite it abundantly whilst supplicating:

رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا

Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring (those) who will be the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders for the pious (Surah: Furqaan/Verse.74)

Another Du’aa that we recommend that you recite abundantly in your pursuit of a good proposal is the Du’aa of Hadhrat Moosa Alayhissalam. This Du’aa not only led to Hadhrat Moosa Alayhissalam’s marriage to a pious, modest wife but also to a source of income. The Du’aa is:

رَبِّ إِنِّي لِمَآ أَنزَلۡتَ إِلَيَّ مِنۡ خَيۡر فَقِير

“O my Rabb! Indeed I am needy of whatever Good you Bestow on me.” (Juz.20/Verse.24)

We would like to share some very important points we learn from the incident of Hadhrat Moosa Alayhissalam when he decided to proceed towards Madyan from Egypt:

  • To always ask from Allah; in the state of helplessness he (Moosa Alayhissalam) did not turn to any creation for help but turned immediately to Allah Ta’ala and asked (“I hope my Sustainer will guide me to the straight path – 28:22)
  • It was the practice of the Ambiyaa Alaihimus-Salaam to help the weak. Sayyiduna Moosa Alayhissalam had helped the two girls that had brought their goats for drinking water, but they were unable to do so due to the rush of men, so he (Moosa Alayhissalam) helped them to draw water from a well for their animals. (28:24)
  • To maintain physical health, it is reported in some narrations that the shepherds, after taking their cattle for drinking water would place a very heavy stone on the mouth of the well to make it unusable, and so these girls would have only the spilt-over water for their herd. The stone was so heavy that it would take ten men to move it; Sayyiduna Moosa Alayhissalam removed it all by himself, and drew water from the well. Perhaps for this reason one of the two girls reported to her father that Sayyiduna Moosa Alayhissalam was very strong (Qurtubi)
  • Then he turned to a shade and supplicated:

رَبِّ إِنِّي لِمَآ أَنزَلۡتَ إِلَيَّ مِنۡ خَيۡر فَقِير

“O my Rabb! Indeed I am needy of whatever Good you Bestow on me.”(Juz.20/Verse.24) 

Allah Ta’ala granted him with lots of bounties including a pious spouse whom Allah Ta’ala Himself praised in the Qur’aan for her modesty:

“Then one of the two women came to him walking with shyness.” (28:25)

Some commentators have given the detail of her shyness that while talking, she had raised her sleeve up to cover her face; then she said: “My father is calling you” (28:25).

It should also be noted that instead of simply inviting him, she extended her father’s invitation, for it is against the modesty for a girl to invite a strange man to her home.

  • We also learn the importance of protecting one’s gaze, the commentaries mention that Sayyiduna Moosa Alayhissalam had asked her to walk behind him and guide him from the back so that his gaze may not fall on her.

The following Du’aa that one may supplicate with, also includes seeking Allah for a suitable spouse.

رَبَّنَا آتِنَا فِي الدُّنْيَا حَسَنَةً وَفِي الْآخِرَةِ حَسَنَةً وَقِنَا عَذَابَ النَّارِ

Oh, our Lord, grant us in this world (all that which is) good, and in the Hereafter (all that which is) good and protect us from the punishment of the Fire (Jahannam) (surah.Al- Baqarah/Verse. 201).

Once you have found someone that you feel is suitable and after you have consulted with the right people, it is strongly recommended that you perform Istikhaara before finalising. Istikhaara means to seek goodness from Allah in your decision. You may consult the book Beheshti Zewar (Heavenly Ornaments) by Moulana Ashraf Ali Thanwi Rahmatullahi Alaih for more details on Istikhaara.

We make Du’aa that Allah Taala guides you in your pursuit and grants you and all the single (unmarried) Muslims around the world pious and compatible wives who will support you to succeed in Deen and in Dunya. 

Checked and Approved By:

Mufti Muhammed Saeed Motara Saheb D.B.

‌ٱلۡخَبِيثَٰتُ لِلۡخَبِيثِينَ وَٱلۡخَبِيثُونَ لِلۡخَبِيثَٰتِۖ وَٱلطَّيِّبَٰتُ لِلطَّيِّبِينَ وَٱلطَّيِّبُونَ لِلطَّيِّبَٰتِۚ…(Surah: Nur/Verse:26)

[1] (وَعَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ عَمْرٍو) بِالْوَاوِ (قَالَ: «قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ – صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ -: الدُّنْيَا كُلُّهَا مَتَاعٌ» ) أَيْ: تَمَتُّعٌ قَلِيلٌ نَفْعٌ زَائِلٌ عَنْ قَرِيبٍ. قَالَ تَعَالَى: {قُلْ مَتَاعُ الدُّنْيَا قَلِيلٌ} [النساء: 77] وَقَالَ عَلَيْهِ الصَّلَاةُ وَالسَّلَامُ «لَوْ كَانَتِ الدُّنْيَا تَعْدِلُ عِنْدَ اللَّهِ جَنَاحَ بَعُوضَةٍ مَا سَقَى الْكَافِرَ مِنْهَا شَرْبَةَ مَاءٍ» “. ( «وَخَيْرُ مَتَاعِ الدُّنْيَا» ) أَيْ: خَيْرُ مَا يُتَمَتَّعُ بِهِ فِي الدُّنْيَا ( «الْمَرْأَةُ الصَّالِحَةُ» ) لِأَنَّهَا مُعِينَةٌ عَلَى أُمُورِ الْآخِرَةِ، وَلِذَا فَسَّرَ عَلِيُّ – رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ – قَوْلَهُ تَعَالَى: {رَبَّنَا آتِنَا فِي الدُّنْيَا حَسَنَةً} [البقرة: 201] بِالْمَرْأَةِ الصَّالِحَةِ {وَفِي الْآخِرَةِ حَسَنَةً} [البقرة: 201] بِالْحُورِ الْعِينِ {وَقِنَا عَذَابَ النَّارِ} [البقرة: 201] بِالْمَرْأَةِ السَّلِيطَةِ. قَالَ الطِّيبِيُّ – رَحِمَهُ اللَّهُ -: وَقَيْدُ الصَّالِحَةِ إِيذَانٌ بِأَنَّهَا شَرٌّ لَوْ لَمْ يَكُنْ عَلَى هَذِهِ الصِّفَةِ. (رَوَاهُ مُسْلِمٌ) وَأَحْمَدُ، وَالنَّسَائِيُّ.)مرقاة المفاتيح شرح مشكاة المصابيح :2043 )

This answer was collected from the official Ifta website of Darul Uloom Azaadville, South Africa. Most of the answers are checked and approved by Mufti Muhammed Saeed Motara Saheb D.B.

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