I have been married for seven years. Three kids now. But we have always had problems and they get worse.  We don’t communicate at all-just the necessary  stuff.  My husband is manipulative and I used to succumb but now I have started resisting.  He wants me to fail in my endeavors. He insults me at the slightest opportunity-says I am not mar’atussaliha (a pious woman).  We disagree about many important things. He never agrees to learning or trying to change things or going for counseling.  He does not want to try.  Many times I feel like leaving him but my only concern is how my kids will fare.  Do I have the right to keep them even if I do female divorce-Khula? The oldest is six.

Answered according to Hanafi Fiqh by Askmufti.co.za

Q: I have been married for seven years. Three kids now. But we have always had problems and they get worse.  We don’t communicate at all-just the necessary  stuff.  My husband is manipulative and I used to succumb but now I have started resisting.  He wants me to fail in my endeavors. He insults me at the slightest opportunity-says I am not mar’atussaliha (a pious woman).  We disagree about many important things. He never agrees to learning or trying to change things or going for counseling.  He does not want to try.  Many times I feel like leaving him but my only concern is how my kids will fare.  Do I have the right to keep them even if I do female divorce-Khula? The oldest is six.

A: The wife has the right to custody of boys up to 7 years of age and girls up to 9 years of age. Thereafter they will be in the custody of the father, unless he allows her to keep them longer.

Try your utmost to resolve the issues by:
1. Getting a few elders from each family to sit with both of you and discuss the issues.
2. Asking your local Aalim or a few Ulama to sit with both of you.

Moulana Yusuf Laher


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