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Difficult for me to Respect my Husband

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Tafseer Raheemi


I would like to be a pious woman I think I have everything intact. Alhamdulilah I perform all the compulsories, I do not backbite, slander, gossip etc. However there is one thing which I am concerned about. It is very difficult for me to respect my husband at times because of the following reasons: (Allah is my witness to the truth of which I say). He has a very bad temper in which he swears/curses VERY BADLY. What hurts me the most is that he behaves like this in front of our child. HE LIES UNBELIEVABLY. SO MANY TIMES HE TAKES OATHS by Allah for the most trivial of things and then breaks them.

He always puts me down when it comes to my mothering skills even though he knows I try my best to be an excellent mother and I have no help from anyone. He socialises with non mahram women which makes me very upset etc. etc. These are just a few that I can remember.

In general I try my best to be an obedient wife, however when situations like (What I have listed above arise) I become disrespectful and do bad things. When I try to speak to him and tell him to stop what he is doing he just ignores me. So I only get his attention if i pinch or bite him or even hit him. At times I don’t even feel like making love with him because of these reasons. I feel as though I can never be a righteous woman because my husband can be so difficult to tolerate at times that he makes it difficult for me to ever be pious. He is also very proud and he never accepts his faults he always blames me. I am always the first to apologize and gain his forgiveness and he never even budges to seek my forgiveness when he knows he started a confusion.

Its very difficult to just have patience and bear all the bad things he does. He is an Alim and knows very well what he does. Please advise me what should I do when my husband behaves like this because I would really like to be a pious person.



I have a lot of sympathy for you. I make dua for you from the depth of my heart. MAy Allah assist you and remove your problems and grant you peace in your home.

My advice to you would be to be patient. Due to the Junoon and Jawaani, some people behave in that manner. As time passes they realise their mistakes and they have to change. Try and get him bay’at with a sheikh and tell him to go and attend their majlis. Also Don’t argue too much, it only aggravates the problem. You fulfill your duty for which you will be questioned on the day of Qiyaamah, and make dua that he fulfills his for which he is responsible.

This answer was collected from Tafseer-Raheemi.com the official website of Sheikh Abdul Raheem Limbada (Hafizahullah) of UK.

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