My mother often gives me money (which she receives from my father) to spend on deeni literature when my father’s refusal is anticipated concerning such expenditures. Unfortunately, though my father is a very good provider, he generally holds a very negative outlook on anything related to the deen since he conflates much of it with backwardness and ignorance (perhaps owing to the secular milieu he grew up in.)
In light of his bias I wanted to know if its permissible to take his money via my mother to finance my Islamic education. Hitherto I have been learning about my religion solely through websites but that approach is beginning to feel very inefficient and my motivation is dissipating. Since my mother herself doesn’t posses much religious ilm she encourages me to learn more about Islam through literature and whatever other means that she’ll provide money for.
Does she have a right to spend on my education if my father would take issue with the whole situation if he knew about it?
If my actions are violating the shariah then how else am I supposed to educate myself about the deen? Please keep in mind that I’m totally dependent upon my parents as of now and the foreseeable future.
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
May Allah reward you for pursuing ‘ilm.
Learning those branches of ‘ilm which would allow the individual (male or female) to discharge his ‘ibaadah (acts of worship) and mu’aamalah (dealings) properly are fardh ayn (an individual obligation).
As far as the learning of this essential knowledge is concerned, it is your father’s responsibility that he provides you with the resources necessary to pursue this knowledge.
Allah says:
“O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are [appointed] angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allah in what He commands them but do what they are commanded.” (Quran, 66:6)
If your father is not willing to provide you money to pursue these essentials, your mother has a right to spend the money she receives from him on your religious education. [i][ii]
For learning the essentials of ‘ilm it is extremely important to be in contact with a reliable ‘alim who can guide your studies properly so that there is no confusion or misunderstanding.
Make dua for your father and implement what you learn about akhlaq (good character) in your life. Insha-Allah your father will realize the importance of ‘ilm.
If you desire to pursue more knowledge than this, then it will be permissible to do so only with the permission of your parents.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Sohail ibn Arif,
Student Darul Iftaa
Chicago, USA
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
وقد جاء في الحديث المتفق عليه أن هند امرأة أبي سفيان – رضي الله تعالى عنها – قالت للنبي – صلى الله عليه [i]
وسلم -: إن أبا سفيان رجل شحيح وليس يعطيني ما يكفيني وولدي إلا ما أخذت منه، وهو لا يعلم قال خذي ما يكفيك وولدك بالمعروف
رد المحتار، ٦/ ٤٠٩
وقوله تعالى: {يا أيها الذين آمنوا قوا أنفسكم وأهليكم نارا} روي عن علي في قوله: {قوا أنفسكم وأهليكم} قال: [ii] “علموا أنفسكم وأهليكم الخير” وقال الحسن: “تعلمهم وتأمرهم وتنهاهم”. قال أبو بكر: وهذا يدل على أن علينا تعليم أولادنا وأهلينا الدين والخير وما لا يستغنى عنه من الآداب، وهو مثل قوله تعالى: {وأمر أهلك بالصلاة واصطبر عليها} [طه: 132] ونحو قوله تعالى للنبي صلى الله عليه وسلم: {وأنذر عشيرتك الأقربين} [الشعراء:214] ويدل على أن للأقرب فالأقرب منا مزية به في لزومنا تعليمهم وأمرهم بطاعة الله تعالى، ويشهد له قول النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم: “كلكم راع وكلكم مسئول عن رعيته” ومعلوم أن الراعي كما عليه حفظ من استرعي وحمايته والتماس مصالحه فكذلك عليه تأديبه وتعليمه; وقال عليه السلام: “فالرجل راع على أهله وهو مسئول عنهم والأمير راع على رعيته وهو مسئول عنهم
أحكام القرآن، ٣/ ٦٢٤