As you maybe know, hormones are raging for male teenagers usually from 16 years of the age. I have a problem with masturbation. I have worked extremely hard to try and stop this horrible deed. But the problem is, every time I manage to hold it, I can only hold it for about 5 days, no more than that. I cannot stop. I have tried so hard.
Shaytaan comes to me and takes control to watch these evil things. After I masturbate, I feel extremely guilty and am about to cry, and I think to myself that no matter what I will stop this deed forever immediately, and then after a few days, shaytaan comes back to me and makes me commit this extremely horrible sin.
I don’t want Allah to be mad at me. I love Allah but I cannot stop! I want to do whatever it takes to please Allah and receive his blessings. I need your help! The methods of fasting etc. don’t work for me as I have parents and talking to your parents about anything even like this is the most embarrassing thing in the world. Please help me! Please tell me how to get rid of this horrible sin forver using an excellent method that will kick shaytaan forever!
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
We are pleased to hear that you are concerned regarding your evil habits and you are looking forward to rectifying them. Indeed this act of yours is a despicable one. However, staying away from sins is a challenge in life. As a teenager, one’s passion and desires in committing sins is at its climax. The one who is able to control and overpower his passions and desires, will surely attain the sweetness of Iman. The Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam has said that there will be seven types of people on the Day of Judgment which will be shaded under the A’rsh (throne) of Allah from the intense heat of the sun. One of these seven people will be those youngsters which have spent their entire youth in the worship and obedience of Allah and have refrained from committing sins.[1] You should make sincere taubah and repent to Allah to forgive you for such actions. You should also make a firm intention not to return back to this sin despite difficulties.
Here under are few tips which may help you overcome your problem
- Stay away from all such avenues which lead to sins.
- The most important thing is that one protects his gaze from falling upon non-mahram (unlawful) women.
- You should not use the internet unless there is a genuine need for it.
- Try to refrain from visiting websites like Youtube which seem to be harmless, but contain immoral pictures on the side. You cannot place butter into a hot pan and expect it not to melt and you cannot touch an electrical wire and expect not to get shocked. Similarly, if you access immoral websites, you are bound to fall into sins.
- Try to keep your laptop or computer in a place where everyone can see what you are doing.
- It is very important that you do not purchase books/magazines/newspapers etc. that talk about or have immoral contents.
- If at any time you feel like browsing through porn websites or feel like masturbating, switch off your computer and immediately leave your room and come back when your desires are supressed.
- Try and not to think about pornography or masturbation. The more you think about it, the more you will want to commit it.
- Try not to remain alone or idle. Shaitan plays with a lonely person and an idle mind. Always keep yourself busy. If you have nothing to do, engage yourself in zikr. This will keep you occupied.
- In order to make sure you follow these rules, any time if you happen to masturbate, give some charity to the local masjid. Make sure this amount is realistic and reasonable.
- Continuously make duaa to Allah to help you abstain from such a sin. Make as much as taubah as possible. If your taubah is sincere, Allah will grant you the taufeeq to refrain from sins.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Mawlana Abdul Hannan Nizami,
Student Darul Iftaa
USA
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
www.daruliftaa.net
[1] حَدَّثَنَا مُسَدَّدٌ، حَدَّثَنَا يَحْيَى، عَنْ عُبَيْدِ اللَّهِ، قَالَ: حَدَّثَنِي خُبَيْبُ بْنُ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ، عَنْ حَفْصِ بْنِ عَاصِمٍ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ: ” سَبْعَةٌ يُظِلُّهُمُ اللَّهُ تَعَالَى فِي ظِلِّهِ يَوْمَ لاَ ظِلَّ إِلَّا ظِلُّهُ: إِمَامٌ عَدْلٌ، وَشَابٌّ نَشَأَ فِي عِبَادَةِ اللَّهِ، وَرَجُلٌ قَلْبُهُ مُعَلَّقٌ فِي المَسَاجِدِ، وَرَجُلاَنِ تَحَابَّا فِي اللَّهِ، اجْتَمَعَا عَلَيْهِ وَتَفَرَّقَا عَلَيْهِ، وَرَجُلٌ دَعَتْهُ امْرَأَةٌ ذَاتُ مَنْصِبٍ وَجَمَالٍ فَقَالَ: إِنِّي أَخَافُ اللَّهَ، وَرَجُلٌ تَصَدَّقَ بِصَدَقَةٍ فَأَخْفَاهَا حَتَّى لاَ تَعْلَمَ شِمَالُهُ مَا تُنْفِقُ يَمِينُهُ، وَرَجُلٌ ذَكَرَ اللَّهَ خَالِيًا، فَفَاضَتْ عَيْنَاهُ ” (صحيح البخاري، ج2 ص111، دار طوق النجاة (مصورة عن السلطانية بإضافة ترقيم ترقيم محمد فؤاد عبد الباقي)