I have been married for 10 years now and I have always provided my wife with everything. At the moment I live in a rented accommodation where I pay for the bills, rent and food.
My wife also works full time and earns more than me but keeps all her money to her self. 90% of her wages go into her savings account and she only keeps 10% for her self. She is always struggling due to this and sometimes I have to give her money at the end of the month so she manages to stay afloat.
Because I pay for everything, I find it very difficult to save any of my wages towards our future and towards a home. We have always planned to buy a house together so we have a place of our own where we can bring up a family. My wife has more than £120,000 in her bank account because everything she earns she saves as she has no expenses. Islam teaches that the man has to provide for his wife but in today’s society, my wife also works full time and earns more than me.
For many years, I have been asking her to have a joint account where both of our wages go into it and we can see how much money we have left at the end of the month and start saving towards a house together. I see my marriage as a partnership and not a dictatorship. I have always advised my wife to invest her money into a property as its just sat in the bank doing nothing but she just refuses to do so. She would rather have me struggle and not help me out. I even told her to buy a house and the house would be on her name.
I would rather pay the mortgage on the house than just throwing the money away each month as rent on a property I don’t own. She has been promising me for the past 3 years that she will buy a house and we would have a joint account, every time the appointment comes close to the bank then she makes an excuse and we don’t end up going. I have taken the hint now and I know she doesn’t want to spend her money.
I come from very humble backgrounds and have not inherited anything from my family, its seem as though my wife has money. Am I wrong to ask my wife to invest it in a property? Am I wrong to ask for her help. I know when a wife gives her husband money, this is counted as charity. Shall I just forget about the money and continue with my life as it is? Your thought will be highly appreciated. Jazakallah
Assalāmu `alaikum Warahmatullāhi Wabrakatuh,
You did not state in which environment your wife works. In principle if a woman’s basic needs are fulfilled, she should not go out to work without the prior consent of her husband and without violating the injunctions of shariah at the workplace for example intermingling with men and talking to them etc.
If there is a need for a woman to work then too she must adhere to the rules of hijaab at all times. She may talk to a ghair mahram males only if there is need to do so.
To violate the laws of hijaab is a major sin and incurs the wrath and anger of Allah.
Nevertheless, if your wife worked and earned an income, she is the owner of the income. She is not obliged to give you her money. You should not put any pressure on her to give you her money. If you do so that is not permissible. It appears that your wife does not want to give you her money. You should respect that. Charity is a voluntary act. It should be conducted with an open heart and without any pressure what so ever.
Rasululaah salallahu alayhi wasallam said that the wealth of a person is not permissible without the happiness of the heart.
And Allah Ta’ala Knows Best,
Muftī Ebrahim Desai
35 Candella Rd, Durban, South Africa