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#22962

Answered according to Hanafi Fiqh by Askimam.org

Salaam,

 

 

Hope you are well insha’Allah.

 

 

I’m a 21 year old woman and i got married in August 2007. My parents took me to and got me married to a distantly related cousin whom I had never met or seen in my life. My parents hadn’t met him before either but had agreed to get me married to him before travelling to . Although I wasn’t very happy about getting married at the age of 18 and getting married to a man from I hoped for the best and got married to him as my parents gave me the impression that i will be hurting them if i said no.

 

 

On my wedding night I was on my menstrual period. I was very shy too and thought my husband would treat me with respect on my first night with him. He was already notified about my period by his family because I told his sister as I was very afraid. However, on the night he began to get close to me, at this point I spoke up and said to him that I was on my period and that I didn’t want him to touch me as it was haraam. This was very embarrassing for me as well but I thought after hearing this he would back off. Unfortunately he got angry and turned his face away, so I said to him sorry and tried to make up with him. He would just repeatedly try and come close to me and in the end he ended up raping me. I can’t tell you how hurt and upset I was, it was so unexpected and cruel.

 

 

However, the next day I had to hide the tears are pretend I was happy as I didn’t wish to hurt my parents and I was afraid of what people would say so I left it and thought I will forgive him and try to live with him. However for the time that followed, even after I came back to the and then when he came here to live with me all we did was argue. There was no trust, no love and no respect in my heart for him though I tried several times to accept him. Although I was trying my best to make the marriage work he still didn’t care about me, he hit me whilst living in my house and constantly argued with me. I couldn’t even get myself to like him let alone love him.

 

 

In the end my parents could see that I was not happy and so asked me to tell them what was going on so I told them that I just can’t get along with him. It may seem like something very small however it’s affected me in a big way. And it’s not just because of that, personality wise we have never got on with each other and I can never get myself to have feelings for him. For this reason I expressed my wish to leave him rather then stay put in a love-less marriage and not be able to fulfil his rights. Also he has been living in my house and was unable to get a job and so he hasn’t provided for me at all and we have both been living on my dad’s earnings.

 

 

He was sent back to in January 2009; however before leaving he wrote on paper that he was divorcing me. He was told to write this by my parents and I am not aware of whether or not he wanted divorce. He wrote this once and signed it and my cousin and dad were there as witnesses.

 

 

What he wrote on the day we separated (27th Jan 2009) was as follows:

 

 

“I Mr Hamid Nawaz Cheema s/o Rab Nawaz Cheema according to the Islamic Act I am giving divorce to my wife Nafisa Mahmood because our thinkings, likes and dislikes did not matched with eachother. I am giving divorce according to Quran (surah __ ayat 22). From now there is no relation with my ex wife Nafisa Mahmood. I will never ___ in her all things. May Allah forgive both of us. Signed (Hamid Nawaz) and dated (27/01/09). Signed also by my cousin and brother in law (as witnesses)”

 

 

However through email he contacted me saying “I don’t want to break this relationship” and this was on March 11th 2009.

 

 

I have not contacted him or seen him myself since January 2009 and I do not wish to reconcile or live with this man anymore.

 

 

I wanted to know, has my divorce taken place? Or if it has not taken place, can I apply for Khulla on the grounds I mentioned above?

 

 

Please get back to me.

 

 

jazakAllah.

Answer

In the name of Allāh, Most Gracious, Most Merciful


Assalāmu ῾alaykum wa Rahmatullāhi Wabarakātuh

 

We are deeply saddened by the situation that you are currently faced with. We make Dua to Allāh to ease the situation that you are facing.

When struck by an affliction, a believer is required to be patient and trust that Allāh Tā`la will reward him for the patience endured in the affliction.  This is called Ihtisāb.

Allāh Tā`la sys in the Holy Qurān:

No calamity befalls except by Allah’s permission, and whosoever believes in Allah, He guides his heart. Allah is the Knower of all things.”

(AlTaghabun, Verse 11).

Hadrat Ummi Salma reports that Nabī (sallāllāhuaīhiwasalam) has said:

“Whenever an affliction strikes a Muslim and he says, as Allah commanded him,

 “Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi rajiun. Allahumma ajirni fi musibati, wa akhluf li khayran minha –

To Allah we belong, and to Him will we return – O Allah, reward me for my affliction and replace it for me with that which is better,” Allah will then surely replace it for him with that which is better.”

(Saheeh Muslim)

Nabī (Sallāllāhu alahiwasalam) has said in a Hadith:

“How wonderful is the affair of the believer, for all his affairs are good, and that applies to no one but the believer. If something good happens to him he thanks (Allāh Tā`la) and that is good for him, and if something bad happens to him he bears it with patience, and that is good for him.”

(Sahīh Muslim, Pg. 325, Vol. 18 , Beirut)[1].

 

With regards to your query we require that, you clarify the following:

  1. Were you present at the time when your husband wrote out the divorce?
  2. In the letter he wrote: I am giving divorce according to Qurān (sura_ayat22) what Sura was he referring to when he wrote this? Did he write it in the divorce and perhaps you had omitted it?

Once you clarify the above we will Inshāllāh be able to advice on the matter.

 

And Allāh Ta῾āla Knows Best
Wassalāmu ῾alaykum

 

Ml. Muhammed Sindhi,
Student Dārul Iftā

Checked and Approved by:
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Dārul Iftā, Madrasah In῾āmiyyah

 

 

 



[1] قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم عجبا لأمر المؤمن إن أمره كله خير وليس ذاك لأحد إلا للمؤمن إن أصابته سراء شكر فكان خيرا له وإن أصابته ضراء صبر فكان خيرا له  ( صحيح مسلم باب المؤمن امره كله خير ))

 

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