Asalam o alaikum,
I am 30 old year married guy, and i am porn addicted. I have been facing this problem since i was in 9th or 10th standard in school. and since i got addicted i am doing this on daily basis. Every day before sleep or once in a day i need it very badly.
I tried to stop this many times but i did not worked. I delete my porn collection from my laptop but after few days i cant resist and start downloading it again. I take shower(gusul) every time after watching porn, so that i can pray namaz, but cant continue namaz for long.
I searched on internet how to stop this addiction and found that if you do a sin and you cant stop doing it again and again, then pray a nafil against it. because shaitan will not insist you to do that sin again if you are praying a nafil against it. I start praying nafil but again after few days i stopped prayinng nafil but not porn.
I thought that getting married is a solution, i will not feel lust if i do sex with my wife, but in a few days i got to know that my wife is not so interested in sex. because she is friendly with me so i told her that i watch porn, and she had no problem with that. she allowed me to watch porn because i would not ask her to do sex after masturbation.
After we did HAJJ last year, she had a fear to ALLAH and she tried stopping me for doing this, and also start blaming her for my addiction. She loves me a lot and can’t stop me again and again beacuse she afraid of my anger.
I did UMRAH in 2017 with my wife, and i decided that i will not do this during umrah travel but it happend again. i did tauba and dua for this but still no solution. Then i did HAJJ,and i think the same way that i will not do this during HAJJ travel, but could not resisit.
Because of porn addiction, i feel that this is the cause of my below diseases.
– Bad memory: sometime forget names of people, very difficult to remember study material.
– As i am an engineer, so i need to study all the time for keeping an update of industry. but cant do that.
– Difficulties to understand things.
– Getting FAT
– High blood pressure
– High cholesterol
– feeling tired all the time etc.
Please help me to find out the solution of this. I will be very thankful to you.
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
We take note of the contents of your email. We are pleased to now that you admit your wrongdoing and are willing to change.
Consider the following harms of Pornography:
Ø Effect on the Heart: Pornography affects people’s emotional lives. Married men who are involved in pornography feel less satisfied with their marital sexual relations and less emotionally attached to their wives. Women married to men with a pornography addiction report feelings of betrayal, mistrust, and anger. Pornographic use may lead to infidelity and even divorce. Adolescents who view pornography feel shame, diminished self-confidence, and sexual uncertainty.
Ø Heavy exposure to pornography leads men to judge their mates as sexually less attractive,10) resulting in less satisfaction with their affection, physical appearance, and sexual behavior
Ø Pornography, as a visual (mis)representation of sexuality, distorts an individual’s concept of sexual relations by objectifying them, which, in turn, alters both sexual attitudes and behavior. It is a major threat to marriage, to family, to children, and to individual happiness. Effect on the Mind: Pornography significantly distorts attitudes and perceptions about the nature of sexual intercourse.
These are merely the harms it causes to ones Dunya. The harms it causes to one’s deen far outweighs this.
Quitting any addiction is difficult. It requires will power and restraint. Once someone makes up their mind to do/abstain from something, they will definitely achieve it.
Allah Ta’ala says in the Qur’an:
و الذين جاهدوا فينا لنهدينهم سبلنا
Translation: “And those who strive to attain our pleasure; we shall definitely guide them to our paths”
- Make a determined resolution to yourself that you will abstain from this vice in totality.
- If you have wifi, get rid of it and use your mobile data instead. This would assist in limiting your usage of the internet which leads us to the next point
- Do not browse the internet unnecessarily
- Use the internet under your wife’s supervision when need be
- Keep yourself occupied at all times. Remember the famous proverb, “An idol mind is the devil’s playground”
- Meditate about death every night before you sleep and the stages of life after death.
- Identify a suitable spiritual-guide to assist you
- See a counsellor as this is a deep-rooted obsession
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Aboobakr Siddeeq bin Mufti Amjad Mohammad
Student Darul Iftaa
Azaadville, JHB, South Africa
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.