I’ve been married for 12 yrs. If for some reasons, ive not been able to marry the person whom i love,and i am and will always love him only. According to what i’ve heard about the hereafter you would be the queen of the {hoor} only if you have been loyal to your husband. I’m loyal to my husband and do every duty as a wife. But i can’t love him the way i love my first love. My question is that should it be necessary for me to have Nikah with him if i want to be with Him in the hereafter.Advice please
In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Assalaamu `alaykum waRahmatullahi Wabarakatuh
To have such feelings for someone other than one’s own spouse is completely forbidden in shari’ah. One that has such feelings for another person cannot be considered as a loyal spouse by any means. These feelings that you are experiencing are from Shaytan and should not be entertained at all. The reason these feelings are so strong and persistent is because you are constantly entertaining them. Rather, if these evil feelings are not entertained they will eventually subside completely.
We strongly advise that you forget all the unlawful feelings of affection that you have for the person mentioned in the query. Any feelings that may arise for this person can be cast away by asking yourself whether this person has the same feelings for you. For all you know, this person does not have the same feelings for you. So how can one express this much love and affection for someone that has no similar feelings of love towards the other? Even if the other person does show similar feelings, the simple fact that shari’ah has forbidden such feelings towards strange man is sufficient for one to abandon such feelings.
In your query there is no mention of your husband violating your rights and needs in any way. So what kind of justice is it to show such feelings for another man other than one’s own husband? It could be extremely devastating for your marriage if your husband were to find out about your feelings for this other person. Therefore, we advise that any feelings you have for this person should be disregarded completely and you should bring into your mind all the good qualities of your husband and love him in the manner that he loves you. Also, one should make sincere repentance to Allah Ta’ala for entertaining such evil thoughts and make dua that these thoughts never come to one’s mind again. We make dua that Allah Ta’ala makes it easy for you. Ameen!
And Allah knows best
Wassalaamu `alaykum
Ml. Sajid bin Shabbir,
Student Darul Iftaa
Checked and Approved by:
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Darul Iftaa, Madrassah In’aamiyyah