I am a 26 year old female who was due to get married in May 2008, The wedding was cancelled 2 weeks before the time. I am obviously distraught and sad due to the fact that he wanted to postone 2 weeks before the time because of excuses which boiled down to him not being ready for marriage. How could one not be ready when he proposed and waited for a long time after all arrangements were made and the house was built. Why would he suddenly not be ready? That is my first question? Would a man not want a good dutiful wife who has all the qualities a wife should have? How could he just cut someone off he wanted to marry in a heartbeat without a second thought? Or an apology?
Many people have said that i am being saved from something unknown to me, as we know not what ALLAH SWT knows. This could be true and if so i am grateful to Allah SWT for this. Although I am still hurt and heartbroken due to this. Will Allah SWT punish me for being hurt? Does this signify that i am displeased with the decree of ALLAH SWT?
My last question is due to the fact that i do want to complete half my deen and fullfill my duties as a wife, is there any dua one can make in order to ask for a suitable partner and marriage soon. Insha-Allah?
Shukran in advance for answering my questions. May the Almighty Allah SWT continue to bless you abundantly with knowledge Insha-Allah.
In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Assalaamu `alaykum waRahmatullahi Wabarakatuh
Jazakillah ghair for writing to us regarding the setback you have experienced.
May Allah Ta’ala in His infinite wisdom & mercy make this time easy for you & grant you better in this world & the aagirah. Ameen.
Alhamdulillah, you seem to be coping with your pain with the remembrance of Allah Ta’ala & keeping Him at the forefront of your thoughts. You are indeed very fortunate. There are many of us who are much weaker & we give in to despair & self-pity. Indeed, we are told that Allah Ta’ala tests all of us at some stage or the other. When we are in difficulty or when we are at ease, we should remember our Creator always. It is so easy to allow shaitaan to make us become despondent & give up hope.
Allah Ta’ala Insha’Allah will not punish you for being hurt. After all, you are His precious Creation & you are but human. It is natural that you should feel hurt & let down. Subhanullah, you also seem to have inner strength & firm imaan. Keep up with your zikr, tilaawat of the Quran & reading of the Hadith. By remaining in the remembrance of Allah Ta’ala & by increasing your knowledge of deen & making amal on it will assist you to understand That human beings don’t always have good character & not all are sincere. Forgive the man. It will release you from anger & painful feelings. Alhamdulillah, you may have been saved from some severe grief in the future.
Allah Ta’ala knows best as we do not know why certain things happen but only Allah Ta’ala does. He is the only one who has knowledge of the unknown. Remain steadfast on deen, give sadqa every day, no matter how little it is. Get up for Tahajjud salaah every night & make your needs known to Allah Ta’ala. It is said that Allah Ta’ala hears & answers the cry & duas that are made when you give up your warm bed to ask of Him & only Him.
May Allah Ta’ala make it easy for you & grant you a pious sincere husband with good character, ameen.
And Allah knows best
Checked and Approved by:
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Darul Iftaa, Madrassah In’aamiyyah