we are at the age of 20 . InshAllah we will marry after completeing our studies.i love her very much and our parents knows about us. We believe and think that we are husband and wife and and no one can seperate us except Allah.i love her from the core of my heart. Now when some times i chat with her online. we think that we are in our bedroom as we believe that we are married . so we sit togehter talk kiss each other on the internet and do things what marriend couple usually do at night time.( (Not having sex)just kissing and touching) please help me ..m i commiting a sin .if yes then what should i do . please help me . we both love each other very much .pleasae help us . and what should we do to control it. Allah hafiz
Jazakallah for writing to the institute.
Alhamdulillah, it is fortunate that you have decided to seek more information on this aspect. Brother, I am sure you are aware that zina does not pertain to just physical contact between a non-mahram man and woman. One has to consider zinna of the eyes, ears, and heart besides the limbs, body etc. The woman you are in contact with at the moment is not your mahram, thus you are both haraam for each other at the moment.
What you describe is tantamount to zinna of the heart, your eyes as you read what you write ( and your limbs too as you are using your hands and fingers to commit the zinna). This is shaitaan’s way of corrupting your intentions and your imaan. It could happen that although you are doing this over the internet (chat), your desires will become so aroused that you may both desire to meet and fulfill what you are conveying to each other over the net. If this is not possible, shaitaan may present both of you with a temptation in the form of another available man or woman and cause you to fulfill your desires with those haraam persons. You are basically opening yourselves up to a fall.
You ask what you should do. Seeing that your parents know of your desire to get married, why not have your nikah performed right now? If both of you are not ready to be togather financially or for other reasons, she does not have to come live with you right now. She can come over when you and your families are ready for her ‘wadaa’. However, all your contact with each other will be blessed by Allah Ta’ala as it will be jaaiz (permitted). The other alternative is to stop communicating with her completely till you get married. In this way you will earn Allah Ta’ala’s pleasure and your marriage (later) will be blessed. You have to weigh the benefits of getting married as soon as possible against the great risks to your imaan and your future relationship if you carry on the way you are doing presently.
May Allah Ta’ala guide both of you to make a sensible decision and to abstain from haraam, ameen.
And Allah Ta’ala knows best.
CHECKED & APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai