Jazakallah for approaching the institute with your problem.
You write about two aspects which are affecting your life at the moment. You say your husband is not being good to you and that he gets involved with other girls.
I would like to know how long you have been married, what your occupations are and how many children you have? It is sad when a man forgets his pledge to Allah Ta’ala. Each time he performs salaah, your husband asks Allah Ta’ala to guide him on the straight path and to protect him from the path of those who go astray and those who incur Allah Ta’ala’s wrath. Yet, as soon as he is out of the salaah, he goes ahead and does as he pleases. He rebels against Allah Ta’ala’s commandments, he gets involved with other women and he illtreats you. What do you think the postion of such a man can be? He most definately incurs the wrath of Allah Ta’ala. In the process of breaking his pledge to Allah Ta’ala he is hurting the woman whom Allah Ta’ala gave to him as a gift in marriage.
Sister, do please increase your salaah, recitation of the Holy Quran, zikr, duas and darood shareef. Perform Tahadjud salaah (and wake your husband up to do so also). Try to recite the English Quran with him and highlight the virtues of obeying Allah Ta’ala’s commandments. If you have children, invite them to join also so that they also learn exactly what is required of them as Muslims. Try to fill your house with books and literature which speak of the virtues of husband/wife relationships and about the perils of non-observance of ‘purdah’, ie, the danger of intermingling of the sexes. Do please try not to attend functions where there is intermingling with non-mahram men and women. be gentle about reminding him that being alone with non-mahram women is forbidden. If your husband has the fear and love of Allah Ta’ala in his heart, and if he desires to please his Creator, he will give up the forbidden behaviour heis indulging in. He will repent to Allah Ta’ala and start treating you as he is expected to do according to the commands of Allah Ta’ala and the beautiful examples set down by Nabi (sallalaahu alayhi wassallam)
Try to make yourself attractive to him and try to win him over to your side with tact, love and wisdom. You will find my answer on this topic (on the website) to another sister who has similiar problems to yours. I suggest that if you have your family around, you should consider asking the elders to approach your husband about his habit. You are welcome to write again. May Allah Ta’ala guide your husband to put his knowledge of HIS commandments into practice and may HE answer your duas and grant both of you a life of contentment, love and understanding. Ameen,
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
Sister Fadila
SOCIAL DEPT.
CHECKED AND APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai