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Is divorce an option because my husband ignores me 3 days out of 7

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Askimam.org

My husband and I have been married for 18 months and i am now 16 weeks pregnant every week more or less he goes into him self and totally ignores me for 2/3 days if i am in a room he will walk out we do not eat together or he does not even acknowledge me i constantly ask what have i done and beg for forgivness from him and Allah(SWT) i am terrified that Allah (SWT will curse me because he is mad with me all the time. I am so unhappy i cry all the time is divorce an option i pray for jannah inshallah you can help me salam

Answer

Jazakallah for sending your query to the institute. Do please forgive me for the long delay in responding to your mail. You write about the communication problems you are having in your marriage.

It must be very painful for you that your husband withdraws from you and that he does not communicate with you. You are relatively a ‘newly wed’ couple so insha’allah you will be able to overcome your problems with a little bit of help. I can understand that you may be experiencing emotional pain, more especially since you are pregnant, so do turn to Allah Ta’ala with increased dua, zikr, recitation of the Quran and Tahadjud salaah.

Since there is no communication with your husband, it is better that you ask your family elders to intercede on your behalf to get to the root of the problem. Ask them to talk to him so that the matter can be ‘investigated’ a little further. Allow them to assist you to reconcile with your husband. Although you see divorce as the only way out at the moment, it is not recommended as the first option. You first need to try to work at your differences and overcome the obstacles as best you can.

I do accept that you may be feeling overwhelmed since he does not communicate with you. Both of you should think of going for counselling so that both of you can learn coping skills which are more effective in dealing with differences which come up between you two. All newly wed couple have some amount of difficulty in adjusting to each other’s needs so do not think that you are unique or an abnormal couple. You may just need more time and a little bit of help to ‘iron out’ your differences.

Please write again if you wish. May Allah Ta’ala guide both of you, strengthen your marriage bond and grant you a pious child whom you both will be able to bring up together with love and understanding. Ameen.

and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best

Sister Fadila
SOCIAL DEPT.

CHECKED AND APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai

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This answer was collected from Askimam.org, which is operated under the supervision of Mufti Ebrahim Desai from South Africa.

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