Dear Mufti.I intend marrying a young lady soon(Insha-ALLAH)by December 2003.She is a girl that appeared in my Istikhaara Dream.She is a good girl form a good home.One thing concerns me though.I DO NOT approve of her having male friends.We have discussed the issue before.I don’t want to sound selfish or possessive,BUT I simply don’t trust other men out there.I DO trust her however! Am I wrong in discouraging her to have male friends? Please advise.At the same time I don’t want to make her feel that I own her.She is an individual and I respect that.I value her opinion and output.Please advise.
Allah Ta’ala, being our Creator, knows His creations. He knows the nature and what attracts a male to a female and vice versa, and based on the instincts of both, He has ordered the observance of complete separation. The eyes of both should not meet. He says, ?Say the believing males and females to lower their gazes.?
It is clear from the above that according to the Shari?ah, it is Haraam (strictly prohibited) for Ghayr Mahram (not prohibited in marriage) males and females to be friends with one another. In fact, a female should observe Hijaab in front of a Ghayr Mahram male. If there is a need to respond to a Ghayr Mahram male, for example, when he knocks at the door or answer the telephone, she should respond in a strict and non-alluring voice. Allah Ta’ala states, ?as that male who has a sickness (passion) in his heart may aspire her (through her alluring voice).?
A husband has the Shar’ee right to instruct his wife to observe Hijaab. If he is lenient in that and permits to her talk to Ghayr Mahram males and be friend with them, then according to Shari?ah he is sinful and is branded as a cuckold. Every Muslim individual male or female cannot just follow his/her individuality without consideration of the laws of Shari?ah. As Muslims, we are subservient to the laws of Allah. Any individuality against the laws of Allah does not deserve to be respected. We also wish to advise that in these times of corruption and evil, no person, male or female can guarantee being protected from the mischief of the Shaytaan when they freely interact with one another. Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) says, ?Women are nets of Shayaateen.? It is obvious many men are trapped in that net today. The woman you intend marrying should be advised not be used as Shayaateen’s net.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
Mufti Ebrahim Desai