I asked a girl if she wanted to marry me . We are both muslim and she said yes but.

Answered according to Hanafi Fiqh by

Salaam-Walikum . I asked a girl if she wanted to marry me . We are both muslim and she said yes . Her father said that he disagrees because I was born before my parents were married. He says that I am hurram. He said that allah has not blessed me and that I am unlawful to allah. Please help me. How could I commit a mistake ? Please. I do not want to be named as the hurram child. He said that he would let his daughter marry me but he does not want the talk about her marring a guy like me. Please help me. Give me a Surah and an Ayah that proves that I am not a hurram child. Please . I was a born baby, it was no mistake of mine. Allah does not say that I am hurram in the Quran. Please help me. I am asking if I am a hurram child because I was born before marriage. Please help me answer this question. May Allah bless you .


In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

Yes, it was no mistake of yours. Even if you were born out of wedlock, you should not be stigmatized or discriminated against for a sin for which you were not responsible.

Nonetheless, her father has all the authority to refuse you hand in marriage. She is, after all, his daughter whilst you are an outsider. We suggest you respect his decision and look elsewhere for a suitable match.

Perhaps he has another reason for refusing your proposal and this “Haraam” story is merely an excuse. 

And Allah knows best


Mufti Mohammed Kadwa
Darul Iftaa, Madrassah In’aamiyyah

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This answer was collected from, which is operated under the supervision of Mufti Ebrahim Desai from South Africa.

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