I have been blessed with 2 children now alhamdulillah and from the time I was single up to now I think that my emaan is getting weaker and weaker. I have less concentration in my daily a’mal. My husband goes in jamaat alhamdulillah and they are no sisters here who understand the work so it is hard for me to progress in that direction. I don’t have the support that I think I need. Please advise me on what to do and make du’a for me that Allah gives me tawfiq or more tawfiq.
Jazakallah for the questions which you have sent to us. You write about the difficulty you have in maintaining your level of emaan and in your daily practices.
Do you remember how you spent this year’s Ramadaan? Do you recall getting up for tahujjud salaah, fajr salaah, you recited the quran at every opportunity, made lots of zikr and dua? It was somehow so easy then. You wanted to make use of every hour and day to obtain the greatest amount of Allah Ta’ala’s rahma, blessings and forgiveness. Do you recall too, how you made a resolution that this year you would not go back to the old ways of giving up all that ibaadah as you did after last Ramadaan? That you would even fast perhaps every Monday and Thursday (or now and then) so that the zeal of Ramadaan would remain with you?
Sister, I can identify with you. So many of us are like a bottle of “pop”. We start off with a great fizz but then we go flat. We require constant reminders that we need Allah Ta’ala and not the otherway round. It often happens that we find ourselves turning to Allah Ta’ala in times of need and then we settle down into our “Comfort Zones” once more.
With all this weakness on our side, our Allah Ta’ala, our Creator, Sustainer, Cherisher, Protector and Comforter (who LOVES us more than any human being ever could), NEVER gives up on us. Allah Ta’ala will never miss-guide us nor lead us astray. Allah Ta’ala will not throw us into the “Fire” unless we have truly earned HIS wrath.
It is really up to us to realize that we should reciprocate Allah Ta’ala’s love and not reject it. That we should truly strive to become worthy of this love by obeying HIS commandments. That by becoming negligent and forgetful of all the gifts and bounties HE has bestowed upon us, we ourselves are the losers. Allah Ta’ala created this world for our pleasure, but He created us for one reason only, to WORSHIP HIM.
Have you noticed that if you have not cleaned your leather shoes for a long time, especially in summer, they become mouldy? How iron rusts water? Likewise, if we don’t make use of the knowledge of our obligations to Allah Ta’ala, our hearts become rusted, dull and dead. The joy is actually taken out of our lives before we realize it.
When we relegate our salaah to just “showing a picture” of salaah to Allah Ta’ala, ie. going through the motions and postures of salaah instead of sincerely observing the rules of a perfect salaah, then our salaah is “rusted.” This applies to all our formal ibaadah. Sincerity in every action of ours is of vital importance.
Effort to “kick start” our zeal is needed once more. We have to get away from making false claims of love to Allah Ta’ala. We have to give up on our nafs which is tied to shaitaan and give in to the love of our Creator once more.
You have made a major move by writing about your difficulty to the institute. Now try to make your nafs relinquish it’s dreamworld and let it once again become a slave of Allah Ta’ala. Let Allah Ta’ala’s pleasure be before your pleasure. After that make Nabi (sallalaahu alayhi wassallam) more beloved to you than anyone or anything in the world. This means that you learn about and practice the teachings and examples of Allah Ta’ala’s most excellent creation on earth.
Some practical suggestions:
Alhamdulillah, you are a most fortunate woman in that you state your husband goes in Jamaat. Allah Ta’ala has blessed you with a suitable partner with whom you can share your difficulty with. He is your greatest support. Although you do not have other sisters to share this zeal with you, you are not alone. Have you tried to make ibaadat with your husband and children? What I mean is, do you two sit together and recite the quran and learn what it conveys? Sometimes perform salaah together with your husband and children so that they learn how to perform salaah and at the same time it brings your family closer together. You can read kitaabs and teach each other duas and the meanings of each. Read books and stories about the Sahaba, Prophets of Allah Ta’ala and illustrious scholars of Islam and share the knowledge with each other. Have question and answer sessions about various aspects of salaah, tahaarah, the adaabs of the life of a Muslim (and the various aspects of correct living with each other, in our dealings with the material world and our responsibilities and relationship with our Creator). You do have friends who have the internet and you could get together and read the Hadith and other excellent articles on the website of this institute and share this knowledge and compete with each other to see how many hadith you can bring alive into your lives, insha’allah. Give sadaqa often, besides money and kindness to others, even if it is in the form of teaching somebody any aspect of deen for Allah Ta’ala’s pleasure. If you have a Sheikh who is learned, experienced and pious, you can be guided by him. The list is endless.
Insha’allah, once you start implementing some of the above suggestions, Allah Ta’ala will guide you to remove the television, all weekly or monthly magazines ( which have pictures revealing the “awrah” of men and women) if you have any of these in your home. Your home will be filled with the NOOR of Allah Ta’ala, inshallah.
Allah Ta’ala says in Hadith-e-Qudsi “Heavens and earth cannot contain me. But into the heart of a believer I enter like a guest” We cannot even begin to fathom or grasp Allah Ta’ala’s love for us. The least we can do is to sincerely acknowledge this love to the best of our ability through our daily a’maal, ( purely through HIS guidance and mercy). Let us try to capture that zeal of Ramadaan once more and make the a’maal of every day and night ones which emulate Ramadaan, insha’allah.
May Allah Ta’ala grant all of us the ability to “fear” and “love” HIM sincerely and may our meeting with HIM be one which is pleasing to HIM and us, ameen. May Allah Ta’ala grant you your ja’eez duas, ameen. I make a humble request for your pious duas, insha’allah.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
Sister Fadila
SOCIAL DEPT.
CHECKED AND APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai