As-salaaamu-alaikum, I am about to enter nikkah shortly. A question was raised between us that at times she may want to stay with her mum. Am I obliged to stay over as well? Is it wrong for me to make her stay with her mum infrequent. What are her duties and responsibilities as a wife towards my parents and family? Please explain as fully as possible as we would like to gain closure on this. Jazakallah
Marriage is all about love, understanding and mutual co-operation between
the spouses. The greater the love, the more the facilitating nature of the
spouses manifests itself. The husband and wife must make adjustments and
rise above their emotions and go beyond strict principals to maintain that
love and harmony. Adherence to strict principles in such an intimate and
close relationship may not be practical. In view of the above, the husband
should facilitate his wife’s requests to permit her to stay with her
parents. He should offer to stay with her there. That is conducive to
maintaining a good relationship with ones in-laws. It is not an obligation.
Similarly the wife has no Shari obligations to her in-laws. She does not
have to serve them. However, she should do so as a good gesture and
magnanimity from her side. That attitude displays humility and humbleness.
The husband will be pleased by his wife serving his parents and so to will
the wife be pleased by her husband serving and being good to her parents.
In brief, it is mutual understanding and co-operation between the spouse to
serve and service one another’s feelings.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
FATWA DEPT.