salaam my husband and i arrived from abroad after 10 months of being away from home.we live with my in laws.my inlaws said i shouldnt go to parents home for dinner.my husband was upset n said he is taking me.my husband n in laws got into an argument n my husband said some terrible things to his mother.they kicked us out.we came back next day asking for maaf.they accepted but before that my mother in law cursed my husband.she is not speaking to us nicely since asking for maaf.we have moved away.my husband is still upset because of his mother cursed him.what must i do for him? my mother in law doesnt accept when she is wrong. must i do? husbands first marriage ended n his mother had a problem with her too.please make duas.Jazakallah
Rasulullah [Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam] said, ?A Mu?min is not bitten from the same whole twice.? (Tirmidhi).
You state your husband was married before and his mother had problems with his ex-wife. By now, your husband should know his mother’s nature and attitude. He went through a knock and still did not learn. When will he learn? Furthermore, does your husband not know the famous injunction of the Qur’aan, ?Never say uff to your parents?? When his parents advised him not to go to his in-laws, why did he respond rudely to his mother. If his mother was wrong in objecting to you going out, that does not justify him doing wrong to his mother. There were other ways to attend to the problem.
It is natural for you to feel for your husband being upset. However, his mother has the right of being more upset as her son back chattered her and was rude to her. You have acted appropriately by asking for maaf. However, that is not enough to heal the wound of his mother’s heart. He has to go beyond that and endervour to the best of his ability to make his mother happy. He has to tolerate her. If he does not, he will be forced to tolerate something bigger as in this incident.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
Mufti Ebrahim Desai