I need help urgently(i know that you are all very bussy)but Insha Allah i am hoping of receiving your most appreciated help. I need some advise for a workshop being held in Perth on 13 march 04 by a group called(Muslim Women Support Group 1-can a husband stop his wife from visiting her parents?even if he says he has an islamic reason like they watch Tv at the hse our the are non muslim (for xample) 2-income ownership a husband does not allow wife to support her parents from the money that she earns?does he have control over her finances? 3-a lady is divorced for 3 years and husband refuses to pay child support?what is the islamic view? 4-my husband controls everything about my life?even what i wear?i am told to make SABR i will get Jannah? 5-my wife and i are asked to arbitrate a marriage problem for our friends so how do we go about doin this? 6-the social security system gives our kids money each fortnite,my husband takes the money and says it is his money?he takes full control without giving it to the kids or even saving it for them? I would really appreciate it if i could receive the answers or a gist of how to deal with the problems as this weak and needy servant has been asked to address the above few issue. aayaat and ahaadith and perhaps the opinion of imam Shafi together with imam A’zam Abu Hanifa (ra)
1. In principle, if the parents are unable to visit their daughters at her husband’s house, then it is advisable for the husband to allow his wife to visit her parents according to a period that is mutually agreed upon. If the parents are not pious, then the husband should counsel his wife in regards to abstaining from the wrongdoing and taking practical steps in rectifying the situation. The wife should also ponder and devise a plan, in regards to correcting the situation. If the parents are unable to visit their daughter at her husband’s house, then the wife has the right to visit her parent to the extent of the general custom of visiting. (Fathul Qadeer vol.3 pg.335)
According to the Shaafi?ee Madhab, the husband also has the right to prevent his wife from visiting her parent’s house. However, if the parents are ill, then it is Makrooh to prevent her from visiting them. (al-Mufassal fee Ahkaamil Mar?ati vol.7 pg.294)
2. The husband does not have control over the wife’s finances. She is independent in regards to her personal wealth. Allah Ta’ala states, ?And if you have given one of them (i.e. your wives) a Qintaar (of gold), take not the least bit of it back; would you take it wrongfully without a right and (with) a manifest sin.? When Allah Ta’ala has not given the husband control over the wealth which the husband himself has given the wife, then how can he ever have control over the wealth which she herself has earned.
3. In principle, it is the Waajib duty of the father to provide child support as long as the child is not wealthy enough to support himself. If the father neglects in his duty, he is sinful and legal action may be taken against him. However, if the child owns enough money to support him/herself, then it no longer remains the father’s duty to provide child support. (Shaami vol.3 pg.612; HM Saeed)
4. Your question is very general. We are unable to provide an answer, kindly provide further details.
5. In regards to resolving personal problems, there are two aspects; a) One is mediation, i.e. when one plays the roles of an intercessor and advisor. Secondly is arbitration. This is where one is appointed to look into both parties? grievances and then pass a legal document binding both parties to the given decision. However, it should be noted that arbitration is a skill on its own, which have very far reaching effects. If it is not handled properly, it might result in a disastrous end. Therefore, if you are uncertain in regards to it, we advise you do not shoulder its responsibility.
6. The husband has no right to usurp the money given to the children. He is sinful in doing so and must compulsorily return the money.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
Mufti Ebrahim Desai