I’m interested in a muslim girl who is a great person: clean, intelligent, and loves Islam. But she has grown up around ppl who wear knee-length skirt/sleeveless,etc. We’ve discussed this over and over all the time. I like her a lot but don’t want to go further unless I’m comfortable. She says she’s not dirty and that her dress shouldn’t matter. I have quoted Quran along with many other forms of proof. Really, I get mad because I see her as refusing it. But she claims these are small compared to what Allah will really judge us by. Please advise me as to what you believe I should do according to moderate Islamic interpretation. Thanks. I would like a response from Mufti Ebrahim Desai. Thank you, Eid Mubarak.
At the outset, we wish to point out that it is prohibited for a male and female who are non Mahram (not prohibited in marriage) to interact with each other in anyway whatsoever before marriage. Such interaction itself is dirty according to Shariah. If you are interested in the girl, you may express your feelings and choices only through her Mahram (father, brother, etc.). It is surprising that you quote the Quraan to support your conviction against her dressing but do not follow the Quraan in restricting your interaction with her. Have a singular approach in Deen. Follow Deen completely. Dual or multiple approaches to Deen is against the spirit of Deen. That is the concept of pick and chooses which Allah condemns in the Quraan. According to Shariah, a wife may dress freely in front of her husband. When she emerges from her private life, she should dress modestly and cover herself in a way that conceals the form and shape of her body. If the girl refuses to abide by that, do not waste your time. Look for someone else with whom you are comfortable. In any case, before deciding to marry, make Mashwara. Consult your seniors as well as make Istikharah. It often happens that a husband has to use his influence in changing his wife and making her Islamic in her thought and practice. Very seldom a man will get a ready made Shariah practicing wife.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
FATWA DEPT.