Home » Hanafi Fiqh » Askimam.org » I am 22 years old. Basically all throughout my life, I’ve done no good. To me life was just about having fun. I’ve done so much wrong. But two years ago I decided to change all that

I am 22 years old. Basically all throughout my life, I’ve done no good. To me life was just about having fun. I’ve done so much wrong. But two years ago I decided to change all that

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Askimam.org

I started to pray, read Qur’an, to perfect so much more and myself. But still I’m not satisfied with myself.I’m afraid of only one thing and that is ‘DEATH’.I’m not afraid of dieing, as I know that is something we all will experience, but I’m afraid of that time when I die only to know that hell will be my destiny. I know there’s no turning back, no changing anything. For the last couple of days, I’ve studied Islam very carefully & have learned a lot. Believe me, I try to do a lot of good now. But when I die what if Allah sends me to Hell. I’ am terrified. I think too much about what will happen to me after death. I ask myself, “What if I won’t be able to answer the questions of those two interrogating angels, what if my grave starts to get tighter” & so on. I wish I could do that ONE particular thing so special in the eyes of Allah that He will send me straight to Heaven. But what is it exactly I don’t know. I don’t want to burn in Hell for the rest of my Hereafter especially when I know that I’ve changed and that I do so much good now. But it scares me too much. Because Allah can do anything He wills. Please help; I don’t know what to do, as this is something that bothers me from time to time & it becomes distressing.

Answer

Alhamdulillah, your repentance and turning to Allah has made you conscious
about the Aakhirat. Not many people are given such a gift.

It seems that you are reading a lot of material on the Aakhirah which is
making you think in this way. Remember Allah does not only punish but Allah
is Oft Forgiving, Most Merciful. You need to concentrate on your Salaat,
Dhikr and Amal al-Khayr and if you adhere to this you would notice that
Allah Ta’ala will put that Sakeenah in your heart and remove all that
distress. Also you need to keep in mind that do not judge yourself, this
must be left to Allah. Ensure that you continue to strive in the path of
Allah. Allah Ta’ala says in the noble Qur’aan, ‘Is not by the remembrance of
Allah that you will have satisfaction.’ The rememberance of Allah is both by
word and deed.

May Allah Ta’ala remove all our sorrows and distresses from our hearts.

and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best

Muf

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This answer was collected from Askimam.org, which is operated under the supervision of Mufti Ebrahim Desai from South Africa.

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