My question is related to Bayah of a woman in Islam. My Wife has taken Bayah from a shaikh. She is very crazy to learn Tasawwuf. She says that to learn tasawwuf, I can meet my shaikh any time either in day or night and I shouldn’t have any obligation on it. She also says that if I will resist she can demand DIVORSE even. I know the Shaikh and I have also taken Bayah from him. I have discussed this issue with Shaikh and he says that if she wants to see me alone, I should not resist and he will allow my wife to do so according to shariah. I am very disturb and don’t know what to do. I am scared that if I say some hard words, our shaikh might angry on it.
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
The essence of Tasawwuf is Ihsaan, which means Allah consciousness. A person becomes ever conscious of the laws of Allah in every aspect of life. One can never achieve any heights in Tasawwuf while violating the laws of Allah. It is therefore important that the spiritual guide (Shaikh) himself strongly adheres to Shariah. If he violates the laws of Shariah, he cannot be an ideal role model for his followers. His guidance will lack spiritual light (ruhaniyyah).
According to Shariah, a woman cannot be alone with a ghair-mahram male. Rasulullah Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said,
عَنِ ابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ ” لاَ يَخْلُوَنَّ رَجُلٌ بِامْرَأَةٍ إِلاَّ مَعَ ذِي مَحْرَمٍ… ”
Ibn `Abbas Radhiallahu anhu narrates: The Prophet Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, “No man should stay with a woman in seclusion except in the presence of a Mahram…“
[Sahih al-Bukhari 5233. Book 67, Hadith 166]
The Shaikh is a ghair-mahram. Your wife cannot be alone with him.
According to the above quoted Hadith, such a union is contaminated with the evils of Shaitan. How can one attain spiritual effulgence through such a meeting? In this era of moral degeneration, one should exercise extreme precaution. A mere curtain separating a ghair-mahram man and woman sitting alone too is not free from fitnah.
If a woman wishes to receive spiritual guidance and general advice, in this age of technology, that is very easy. She could email her spiritual guide rather than seeing him alone.
We have come across many incidents where Shaitan misled a ‘Shaikh’ with his female Mureeds.
Furthermore, according to Shariah, the right of the husband precedes the right of the Shaikh. It is incorrect for the Shaikh to override the right of the husband and advise him against his will to let his wife see him.
The wifes attitude of wanting divorce if she cannot see the Shaikh requires reformation. Her Shaikh should advise her that Allah said,
…و قرن في بيوتكن ولا تبرجن تبرج الجاهلية الأولى…
And stay in your houses, and do not display yourselves like that of the times of ignorance…
Her Shaikh should advise her to obey her husband and in obeying the laws of the Shariah, she will get close to Allah. If the Shaikh facilitates her un-Islamic demands, then he is also guilty of violating the laws of Allah. He cannot be a means of leading people close to Allah. He is actually distancing his followers from Allah.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Student Darul Iftaa
Leicester, England, UK
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.