Argument took place before Jummah over cloths and food. After that wife made intention not to spend the little free time (3-4 hours) to be intimate and rather use that to cook and clean cloths. Husband came back from jummah, happy and lively. Husband calls wife with intention of being intimate. Wife tells husband not possible, as baby vomited on her and she needs to have shower, then pray zohur as there was little time left. She also needs to eat as she has not ate. Husband with intention of speeding things up requested wife to eat quickly. While wife is eating baby wakes up so wife puts baby to sleep then goes for shower, does laundry, and some other work. 2 hours go by husband waiting for wife. Wife does not realize husband was very serious about being intimate, she thinks because he didn’t really react to her list of chorus, he is ok with her working. But she has intention of going to him if there is time before he goes out of town. This intention was not because she understood him, its because she felt guilty for rejecting and wanted to make up.
When she is done with her Zohor salat, she starts feeding baby number 2. Seeing this husband becomes furious and tells wife what are you doing? I have been waiting for you so long. Wife was surprised and says, well make the environment. Husband says I was waiting for you because babies were sleeping; now they are up. You deceived me. Wife remains quiet and continues feeding baby 2. Husband feels wife didn’t care and is being arrogant. His anger multiplies and he goes and tells her “I am going to give a condition now. In the future if you deceive me again (like this), its instantly 3 talaaqs”. At this, out of owe and grief wife said if you are so easily willing to give me it, then why wait, give me now. Husband walks away. Wife does not understand how she was deceiving him as when the request was put, she then and there rejected it, and didn’t understand husband was still waiting. To her, when she told husband she has work to do, he was ok with that. It was all very big misunderstanding.
How will this condition of talaq work? What will constitute this talaq, please give some examples.
Wife’s question, sometimes husband calls when she is really tired, then, although she does not mention anything, but feels inside “oh Allah make him change his mind, or fall asleep etc” is that counted as deception? What can we do not to get in the condition of talaq?
Is there anyway, these three talaqs can be made void? Like taking 1 talaq-i-bein now, she deceives me then and I re-marry her, doing nikah again after or something?
If so, please give examples of how she my deceive me while being out of nikah?
How should the marriage be conducted again? Is there mehr, etc.
In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Assalaamu `alaykum waRahmatullahi Wabarakatuh
First, it is not correct for the wife to refuse the husband when he calls her to bed. In a hadīth reported in Sahīh Muslim, the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said, “If a man calls his wife to bed but she does not go to him, resulting in him spending the night in anger, then the angels curse her until the morning” [i]. At the same time, the husband should be considerate of the wife’s feelings and condition.
If the husband calls the wife to bed but she makes du’ā for the husband to change his mind or fall asleep, this would not constitute deception.
Due to the husband’s statement, if the wife ever deceives him in the future, three talāqs will take place and they will not be able to remarry unless:
1. The wife spends her ‘iddah
2. Marries another man
3. She and her (new) husband consummate the marriage
4. Her (new) husband either divorces her or passes away
5. She spends her ‘iddah from this marriage
Ultimately, the issue rests with the intention of the wife and not the husband. If her intention is not to deceive, then talāq will not take place.
Hopefully, the husband and wife fully understand the gravity of the matter. It was highly irresponsible of the husband to utter such a statement, let alone without first inquiring into the matter and clarifying the situation with his wife.
In the future, the wife must be extremely cautious of never deceiving the husband lest she be divorced three talāqs. In addition, the husband should clarify any misunderstandings with the wife and should give her the benefit of the doubt, not assume intentions and jump to conclusions. Both should be cognizant at all times, especially when upset, of what affect their actions could have on their marriage and children.
[i]
وحدثنا أبو بكر بن أبى شيبة وأبو كريب قالا حدثنا أبو معاوية ح وحدثنى أبو سعيد الأشج حدثنا وكيع ح وحدثنى زهير بن حرب – واللفظ له – حدثنا جرير كلهم عن الأعمش عن أبى حازم عن أبى هريرة قال قال رسول الله –صلى الله عليه وسلم إذا دعا الرجل امرأته إلى فراشه فلم تأته فبات غضبان عليها لعنتها الملائكة حتى تصبح
(صحيح مسلم، كتاب النكاح، باب تحريم امتناعها من فراش زوجها: 4/157؛ الجيل)
And Allah knows best
Wassalamu Alaikum
Ml. Abrar Mirza,
Student Darul Iftaa
Checked and Approved by:
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Darul Iftaa, Madrassah In’aamiyyah