Answered by Mufti Mohamed Umer Ibrahim
Can I have an abortion? I am pregnant, but have 2 small children and a husband who is having an affair I have little or no help, and many family and social stresses
Wa alaikum as salam
Abortion is not permissible for you under the circumstances described by you in the question. You must have full conviction in the verses of the Quran:
“And do not murder your children due to the fear of poverty. We are the ones that provide for them and you. Surely their murder is a grievous sin” (Sura Banu Israil)
“And do not murder your children due to the fear of poverty. We will provide for you and them…” (Sura Al-Araf)
As far as the affair of your husband is concerned the following may be adopted:
Do not nag at him. By nagging or angrily accusing him you will only worsen the situation and end up driving him further away from you.
To correct such a disastrous situation, you will need to react wisely with patience. In privacy, remind him of the harms; Insha Allah the day he is blessed with the success (tawfiq) to repent, he will appreciate your kindness and forbearance and become your slave, so to speak.
If he fails to pay heed to your advice, be patient, turn to Allah and beg him to restore the love that was present between you two as it was Allah Almighty that created the love between you two. Remember this is a test for you. If you be patient, then you have passed the test. If you resort to unlawful complaints, frustration, impatience and ingratitude towards Allah, and disobeying Him by resorting to abortion, then this is a punishment of Allah on you.
Repent excessively, lest the loss of love could be because of some sin committed by you.
Shun all evils like listening to music, watching tv etc. Make dua as much to Allah as only He can guide to the right path
Never try to disgrace him by angrily nagging at him or exposing his faults to others. This will only make him more obstinate and drive him further away from you.
Remember, the husband having an affair is emotionally disturbed. A rough and harsh attitude will convince him that the other woman possesses love and charm that his wife does not have. A harsh confrontation from the wife will eliminate any feelings of guilt and will make him feel that the other woman is offering him more love and happiness. You need to dress yourself up as much as possible in front of him only, and be as charming and loving to him as possible.
An intelligent wife facing this delicate situation with courage, understanding, and patience will put her husband to shame by means of her noble and dignified reaction. He will soon realize his mistake and return to his wife humbly full of regret. ( the above is taken from the words of Maulana Ashraf Ali Thanwi
Was salam
Was the advice to the wife with an adulterous husband absurd? RE: Can I have an abortion? I can’t cope with having a baby…