How Should I Respond to a Young Christian Man Who Teaches in My Father’s School and Wants To Convert and Marry Me?
Question: A young Christian teacher at Islamic Trust School of my father has feelings for me. He is ready to convert but fears if Allah will accept his act of converting, and he feels guilty over his feelings as my father is his teacher too. His parents have passed away, and we have never met outside work. What should I tell this man who teaches Math at my father’s school? I have told him my boundaries that only marriage is the possibility that too with my father’s consent, and he respects that.
Answer:
Assalamu alaykum,
Thank you for your question. May Allah reward you for your sincerity and for staying within the bounds of the shari`ah.
Conversion
The most important thing in a man’s life is, first, to believe in his Lord and not to want to live another moment except as a believer. He should hasten his conversion to Islam solely for the sake of Allah, and he should strive to spend one year learning his religion. It takes a while to learn how to practice, and he should be comfortable in this lifestyle before thinking about marriage. This conversion should be for Allah’s sake, whether he ends up marrying you or not. See this link for more info:
https://seekersguidance.org/articles/prophetic-guidance/muslim-convert-family-okay-with-islam/
Proposal
After a year of practice, he should pray istikhara for guidance about marrying you. If it is negative, the answer is obvious, but he should propose marriage to your father if it is positive. If your father runs a school, he must be a pretty good judge of character. I feel that you can trust that and leave the decision in his hands, and you should pray that Allah makes the right thing happen for you, no matter with whom it might be. Trust in Him, never cross the shari`ah, and you will have blessings in everything that you do, by the grace of Allah.
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.