Question
I love someone and he doesn’t love me but I have an attachment to him that I can’t seem to get over and really want to marry him. I have convinced him to marry me for just a year or two and then divorce me if he wishes. He agreed. Is this halal? What intention has to be made? It’s possible that he will keep me if he wants to. We will avoid pregnancy. I don’t mean Mutah marriage and we aren’t doing it for intimacy. It is 100% my idea. I want to be his permanent wife but if I can’t have that then I want to at least be his wife for any amount of time that he keeps me.
Answer
Assalamu alaykum,
Thank you for your question. I have never heard of anything so disrespectful, dishonest, and self-abasing in my life. I pray that you get over this man and marry someone that loves you and Allah and His Messenger as much as you love him.
Halal or haram
Although this is not considered a mu’tah marriage, it is still doesn’t make sense. Why should you not enjoy the full rights of a wife? Security, love, children, etc? This is halal, albeit ridiculous, as long as you avoid a marriage contract like the one in this link:
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/hanafi-fiqh/the-ruling-of-temporary-marriages-muta-and-the-importance-of-avoiding-arguments/
Don’t settle
Don’t sell yourself short for this man. If he doesn’t love you, it’s ok, as love is really supposed to grow after marriage, but if he agreed to leave you after a while, you should question his character. A man should never embark on anything in life except with full conviction, certainty, and genuinely for the sake of Allah. He should be prepared to be with you for good. Are you marrying him for deen? Please heed this prophetic advice: “A woman is married for four things: for her wealth, for her lineage, for her beauty or for her piety. Select the pious, may you be blessed!“ [Bukhari & Muslim]
Turn to Allah
Your love for him is blinding you and you must wake up. Turn to Allah and focus your love on your Lord on the Messenger of Allah, (Allah bless him and give him peace). Pray the Prayer of Need, rise before dawn and ask Allah to guide you to the best. Fulfill your duties to those around you, don’t miss a prayer, review your obligatory knowledge, read some Qur’an every day, and busy yourself with volunteering and charity. Live a balanced life and you’ll find that your passion for him dwindles. Consider this prophetic hadith:
“Your love for a thing causes blindness and deafness.“ [Abu Dawud]
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.