Question
Assalamu’alaikum
Mufti , I want to ask .
I am widow.
I once committed adultery with two different man. man A ( He have wife) and man D ( he haven’t wife ) .
9 month ago, i with man A did the often zina.
2 month ago, I hooked up with man D.
Even times several ago , more 2 times.
in a day, i committed adultery with man D and a few hours later I had sex videocall with man A.
I’m like a whore who doesn’t think about sin back then.
With man D, I committed adultery, and men D said he drank my breast milk 3 times.
At that time I read on the internet, there were differences in the fatwa.
At that time I believed in the opinion of the scholars, adults drink breast milk do not cause mahram. I sure because men D hasn’t drank 5 times.
In my heart I felt safe about the breastfeeding mahram at that time despite although there are differences of opinion.
At that time, I had asked for a fatwa with a scholar in my country, the Scholars said adults drink breastmilk don’t cause mahram.
I repent (but, in my heart I thought we would definitely commit adultery again and it’s okay if men D drinks my breastmilk 5 times) but for a moment I also afraid that 5 times drinking breast milk causes mahram.
a few days later I committed adultery again. I request men D not to suck my milk (because in my heart i am afraid of the fatwa on the internet”adult if 5 times drinking breast milk causes mahram”).
but men D still drank it(this is the 4 ).
and the last relationship I remember men D did not drink breast milk ( but i afraid forgot or syak).
Since then I was worried and afraid that if man D married me later and drank my fifth breast milk, I was afraid man D would become my mahram. and it occurred to me, man D shouldn’t suck my milk if man D marries me later so as not to make him my mahram. was anxious and afraid this keeps bothering me.
Then, when I asked the scholars in my country again , they said there was no mahram relationship between me and man D.
I have calmed down and trust.
which is my problem now.
1 month ago, I try to ask men A, via phone. I ask men A, whether during adultery 9 month ago he ( men A) was drank my breast milk?
he ( men A) answer he never drank breastmilk me. when I asked again 2 weeks ago, men A remembered that there was 1 times he drink my breast milk. And men A remembers only once, but if he drink more one, he didn’t know and didn’t feel it was.
my question
1) how is the status relationship ( about mahram ) between me and man A and man D ?
What if man A and man D had already drunk my breast milk 5 times.
2) Did i do forbidden talfiq (التَّلْفِيقُ)?
because 1 problem ” Breast feeding”
At first I was sure that adults drinking breastmilk did not cause mahram.But I was worried when he drank milk again (this is the 4th).
that time i request he not to suck my milk(because i afraid of the fatwa on the internet”adult if 5 times drinking breast milk causes mahram)
now I can only pray to marry man A, we both repent now.
Man A will divorce his wife, because they often fight economic problems and debt, do disagreements that often occur between the two of them.
8 weeks ago, I have repented nasuha. I regret my actions. now me not committed adultery again. but I Katsir al syak about problem breastmilk mahram.
now i still communicate with men A and men D via messenger and video call.
but never sex videocall again. And me not committed adultery again.
Answer
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Sister in Islam,
It is sad and unfortunate to hear about the affair you have been having with multiple men. This is a serious issue with severe consequences in this world and the hereafter.
The issue of drinking breast milk is secondary, at the outset, we advise you repent to Allah Ta’ala and cut of any connection that you may have with the men in reference. Moreover, have a sincere intention to protect yourself in the future and to avoid speaking to the opposite gender without a genuine need.
Shariah has considered the natural emotions of humans and therefore created the bond of Nikaah/ Marriage. [1]
The only method for two non-mahrams to establish a halaal relationship is through Nikaah. If you cannot contain your emotions, you should get married.
There is no concept of premarital relations in Islam. The ill effects of this type of life style are quite clear. Apart from zina being a sin, staying away from it is a means of protecting ourselves from emotional and spiritual turmoil. It is strictly forbidden to date and enter into an illicit relationship. That incurs the wrath and anger of Allah Ta’ala.
Allah Ta’ala says in the Quraan:
وَلَا تَقْرَبُوا الزِّنَا إِنَّهُ كَانَ فَاحِشَةً وَسَاءَ سَبِيلًا
Translation: “And do not even go close to adultery. Indeed, it is ever an immorality and it is an evil way.”
(Surah Al-Israa, Aayah 32)
It is mentioned in a Hadeeth:
أَنَّ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ “ لاَ يَزْنِي الزَّانِي حِينَ يَزْنِي وَهُوَ مُؤْمِنٌ وَلاَ يَسْرِقُ حِينَ يَسْرِقُ وَهُوَ مُؤْمِنٌ وَلاَ يَشْرَبُ الْخَمْرَ حِينَ يَشْرَبُهَا وَهُوَ مُؤْمِنٌ وَالتَّوْبَةُ مَعْرُوضَةٌ بَعْدُ
Translation: A fornicator who fornicates is not a believer as long as he commits fornication, and no one who steals is a believer as long as he commits theft, and no one who drinks wine is a believer as long as he drinks it, and repentance may be accepted after that.
(Saheeh Al-Muslim, Kitaab Al-Imaan)
Sister, you state that you have repented, that is commendable. However, you have to disconnect yourself from these men. Islam not only prohibits Zina, but also closes all the possible avenues leading to Zina. This is achieved by prohibiting every step and means leading to stimulating and aggravating desires.
You enquire regarding drinking breastmilk. Foster relations are established when a child is breasted in the two years of weaning. After this period, foster relations are not established.
Accordingly, the two men in reference are not your Mahram.
However, it is not permissible for a man to drink his wife’s milk. If the milk enters the mouth, he should immediately spit it out and make taubah and istighfaar. It is prohibited to swallow the milk. [2]
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Mufti Muhammad I.V Patel
Checked and Approved by
Mufti Nabeel Valli
Darul Iftaa Mahmudiyyah
Lusaka, Zambia
بدائع الصنائع في ترتيب الشرائع (2/ 228)
لَا خِلَافَ أَنَّ النِّكَاحَ فَرْضٌ حَالَةَ التَّوَقَانِ، حَتَّى أَنَّ مَنْ تَاقَتْ نَفْسُهُ إلَى النِّسَاءِ بِحَيْثُ لَا يُمْكِنُهُ الصَّبْرُ عَنْهُنَّ وَهُوَ قَادِرٌ عَلَى الْمَهْرِ وَالنَّفَقَةِ وَلَمْ يَتَزَوَّجْ يَأْثَمُ،
الدر المختار وحاشية ابن عابدين (رد المحتار) (3/ 225) [2]
مص رجل ثدي زوجته لم تحرم
(قوله مص رجل) قيد به احترازا عما إذا كان الزوج صغيرا في مدة الرضاع فإنها تحرم عليه
(3/ 211)
(ويثبت التحريم) في المدة فقط ولو (بعد الفطام والاستغناء بالطعام على) ظاهر (المذهب) وعليه الفتوى فتح وغيره. قال في المصنف كالبحر: فما في الزيلعي خلاف المعتمد لأن الفتوى متى اختلفت رجح ظاهر الرواية (ولم يبح الإرضاع بعد موته) لأنه جزء آدمي والانتفاع به لغير ضرورة حرام على الصحيح شرح الوهبانية
(قوله ولم يبح الإرضاع بعد مدته) اقتصر عليه الزيلعي، وهو الصحيح كما في شرح المنظومة بحر، لكن في القهستاني عن المحيط: لو استغنى في حولين حل الإرضاع بعدهما إلى نصف ولا تأثم عند العامة خلافا لخلف بن أيوب اهـ ونقل أيضا قبله عن إجارة القاعدي أنه واجب إلى الاستغناء، ومستحب إلى حولين، وجائز إلى حولين ونصف اهـ
قلت: قد يوفق بحمل المدة في كلام المصنف على حولين ونصف بقرينة أن الزيلعي ذكره بعدها، وحينئذ فلا يخالف قول العامة تأمل (قوله وفي البحر) عبارته: وعلى هذا أي الفرع المذكور لا يجوز الانتفاع به للتداوي. قال في الفتح: وأهل الطب يثبتون للبن البنت أي الذي نزل بسبب بنت مرضعة نفعا لوجع العين. واختلف المشايخ فيه، قيل لا يجوز، وقيل يجوز إذا علم أنه يزول به الرمد
درر الحكام شرح غرر الأحكام (1/ 356)
قَوْلُهُ: وَلَا يُبَاحُ الْإِرْضَاعُ بَعْدَهُ) هُوَ الصَّحِيحُ كَمَا فِي الْبَحْرِ
وَقَالَ فِي شَرْحِ الْمَنْظُومَةِ الْإِرْضَاعُ بَعْدَ مُدَّتِهِ حَرَامٌ؛ لِأَنَّهُ جُزْءُ الْآدَمِيِّ وَالِانْتِفَاعُ بِهِ بِغَيْرِ ضَرُورَةٍ حَرَامٌ عَلَى الصَّحِيحِ نَعَمْ أَجَازَ الْبَعْضُ التَّدَاوِيَ بِهِ إذَا عَلِمَ أَنَّهُ يَزُولُ بِهِ الرَّمَدُ، كَذَا ذَكَرَهُ التُّمُرْتَاشِيُّ وَالْبَعْضُ لَمْ يُجَوِّزُوا شُرْبَهُ لِلتَّدَاوِي اهـ. وَقَدَّمْنَا مَا يَجُوزُ الِانْتِفَاعُ بِالْمُحَرَّمِ؛ لِأَنَّهُ عِنْدَ الضَّرُورَةِ لَمْ يَبْقَ حَرَامًا
نجم الفتاویٰ جلد5 صفحہ476
بوقت ملاعبت و صحبت شوہر کے لئے بیوی کا پستان منہ میں لینا درست ہے– اگھر کبھی اسی طرح کرنے سے دودھ منہ میں آجائے تو اسے تھوک دینا چاہے-
دودھ کا نگل لینا نا جائز و حرام ہے تاہم اس سے نکاح باطل نہ ہو گا
فتاوی دینیہ جلد٥ صفحہ١٩١
اپنی بیوی کے پستان کو ہاتھ لگانا ، پکڑنا جائز ہے، منہ میں لینے سے اگر دودھ منہ میں آوے تو فوراً تھوک دے ، دودھ پیٹ میں اتار دینا گناہ ہے، البتہ دودھ کے منہ یا پیٹ میں جانے سے نکاح پر کوئی اثر نہیں آتا، بدستور وہ اس کے نکاح میں باقی ہے