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My parents make life difficult for me, and object to me making decisions with my husband regarding our lifestyle. I have decided to stay in my home as opposed to living with them in his absence

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Askimam.org

We have seen the effect of jamaat especially when he did 40 days when I was expecting my daughter, alhamdulillah I have sent him to jamaat for 4 months and I am now expecting our second child. My parents make life extremely difficult for me, and object to me making decisions with my husband regarding our lifestyle. I have decided to stay in my home as opposed to living with them in his absence. Please make dua so things are easy for me. I wear long hijab with cap but not niqab although in my heart I know its most perfect covering for women. My mother wears hijab but is very culturally minded, she is against my wearing this hijab (although not the ?normal? one with pins because that one is ?normal?, my husband and I are from different cultural backgrounds),constantly puts me under pressure with every aspect of my life . I have become more easygoing and relaxed and both my parents are becoming very sensitive as they get older ? I have to watch every word I say and even on occasions lie to make sure they do not get hurt. Everything I say turns into 50 different meanings. I am always upset after I return from visiting them and always vow to put a distance (a sheik has actually advised me to do this but I wish to seek your opinion). What do you suggest for me to do? I never want to say no to my parents for fear of disrespecting them but I can no longer handle the situation.

Answer

Your parents are the source of your presence in this world. Even if they are disbelievers, the Qur’aan commands us to treat them with respect and kindness.

If your parents instruct you do something against Shari?ah, you should refuse politely. Bear with them and tolerate their sensitive nature as they had tolerated all your problems when you were young.

and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best

Mufti Muhammad Kadwa
FATWA DEPT.

CHECKED AND APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai

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