Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad
Question
I know a childless marriage is permissible on the condition that both parties consent to this. I recently met someone and we are trying to see if we are compatible. He says he isn’t interested in having biological kids, but in the future, he might want to adopt a refugee child. I have made it clear to him that I do not want children in any way so he knows how I feel. If we marry and he decides that he wants to adopt, if I object would I be sinful?
Answer
Thank you for your question. You would not be sinful in that case because you made it clear to him before marriage.
Children
One of the main purposes of marriage is procreation and fulfillment of emotional needs. I don’t know your reasons for not wanting to have children, but I pray that you consider all that you would be losing in the process, like joy, learning patience, real maturity, self-awareness, etc. My feeling is that if your suitor wants to do something honorable, and adopt in the future, you should not prevent him. Validating another’s feelings is a part of marriage. You wouldn’t want him to resent you later on.
Please see these links as well:
Is It Obligatory to Try to Have Children?
Is It Selfish to Not Want Children?
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria for two years where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, tafsir, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Masters in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.