Answered by Shaykh Amjad Rasheed
I am a 28 year old Muslim girl. I want to get married but my father and brothers are far from the religion and uprightness and they won’t let me marry a pious man. What should I do?
Neither the father nor anyone else can force his daughter to marry a man who is an unsuitable match for her in religiosity, such as an open sinner (Ar. fasiq). If they do so without her permission, the marriage is invalid and they are sinful. A hadith mentions, “If one whose religion and trustworthiness are acceptable to you approaches you, get him married. Unless you do this, there will be tribulation on earth and vast corruption.”
This girl should be very vocal in stating her case: she will not marry anyone but a pious Muslim who is a suitable match for her in religiosity because it is in the best religious interest of her and her children. She should also send a third party to whom her father and brothers will listen to speak to them regarding this matter. She should pray much and earnestly that Allah softens her father’s heart, answers her noble desire, and sets out the means through which she can marry the man of religion, chastity, and trustworthiness that she wants. And Allah will never disappoint her, ([m: as is mentioned in the Qur’an]), “Who is it Who answers the desperate one when he calls upon Him and lifts hardship?”
– Amjad Rasheed
(Translated by Sidi Moustafa Elqabbany)