I’ve been wearing the scarf for a coupe of years now but for a couple of months I have thought on and off about wearing a jilbaab. These past few days of Ramadan have been good for me and I feel the strongest I’ve ever felt about wearing it but these things are holding me back:
1) I don’t want to wear jilbaab and then take it off again because I will get more sin for that… I think.
2) I still want to do stuff like wear makeup but wearing jilbaab and doing this is worse representation of Islam in public.
3) I’m going to miss not being able to wear nice clothes and dress up which I like doing.
4) I don’t wear the scarf properly…. I wear it in public but when uncles and aunts cum round i have it on loosely and at weddings I don’t wear it.
5) I’m really afraid to commit to Islam and by wearing the jilbaab. I feel I will have more of a responsibility to make sure I represent Islam properly and learn more about din but I don’t know if I will be able to do this successfully and I don’t want to end up getting more sin than I am getting now.
6) I feel it will restrict me greatly in what type of job I apply for and if I get the position or not.
7) I want to wear it solely for the pleasure of Allah but sometimes I think, no I wont get reward for it because I am doing it for people as lose of people around me have started to practice Islam. I know these are all excuses and it is like I’m fighting with my self with one half of me saying wear it and the other don’t. How can I make myself stronger?
Assalamu alaykum
In the name of Allah the Inspirer of truth.
It would be really appropriate at this time to continue with the good intentions you have of wearing the jilbab and make it a post Ramadan resolution for the next year. Do it for as long as you can with patience and perseverance. Whenever you feel weak and want to give it up increase your prayers to Allah. Befriend others who are attempting to observe the same dress code. Ultimately, if you ever abandon it for some reason then just muster up enough strength again and begin again. Along with this repent to Allah for having stopped and beseech him for strength.
It is only in this manner that you will be able to feel more at home with it and break up the phobia if any.
It is stated that “whatever can not be fully observed should not be completely left out either.” The scholars have made it clear that due to deceptions of Shaytan like “I may give it up later” or other notions of this nature; we must not give up an essential action. Slowly and gradually these deceptions will fall away and the person becomes stronger.
A teacher of mine mentioned that it is in optional acts of virtue (fadail) that one may begin with few but regular acts. However, in the case of obligations and emphasized aspects of our religion, we must attempt to fulfill them as completely as possible and as soon as possible. Thereafter, whenever they are left out for some reason then they should be resumed again after repenting.
Abu Hurayra (Allah be pleased with him) said that the Prophet (Allah bless him & give him peace) said, the strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, though there is good in both.
Be avid for that which benefits you.
Rely on Allah and do not deem yourself incapable
(Muslim 4816, Ibn Majah 76, Ahmad 8436)
Imam Nawawi (Allah have mercy on him) explained that the “strength” in this hadith refers to one’s determination and ability in matters of the next life.
(Sharh Sahih Muslim)
May Allah make it easy for us all.
Wassalam
Mufti Abdurrahman ibn Yusuf