In this society, young kids (15-18) are looked down upon for wanting to get married. They have to be doctors and 30 years old to get married. I was wondering, since youth have a very big test, can we go to a girl that and accept her as our “slave” (with her permission) and have secret intercourse with her without telling anyone?
Answered by: Mufti Abdullah Nana
Verified by: Mufti Abdullah Nana
Assalamu alaykum
In the name of Allah, Most Gracious Most Merciful. It is not permissible in Islamic Law to take a girl as a slave in the manner which you have described. We realize the great challenge posed to the youth in western countries to control their desires and avoid getting involved with members of the opposite sex. We appreciate the fact that you are trying to look for lawful solutions within the realm of Islamic law. May Allah reward you for your intention and desire to do things the right way. We would like to discuss three possible alternatives which we feel would better address the problem.
1. Getting married early. Unfortunately, many Muslims in western countries are not keen on getting their children married at a young age as you have mentioned. However, the reality is that Islam does strongly encourage parents to marry their children early so that they do not get involved in sin. The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “When a person has a child then he should give him a good name, teach him good manners. If he reaches the age of puberty and the parents do not get him married, then all the sins that the child commits will be borne by the parents.” (Bayhaqi, Shu’b al-Iman) The Muslim community as a whole needs to recognize the important role they are required to play in facilitating marriage and preserving the chastity of our youth. At the very least, we should do our best to try to get our children married as soon as possible without any unnecessary delay.
We encourage the youth to also try to work with the system despite its difficulties. Marriage is a long-term decision and it greatly affects a person’s life. Therefore, it is extremely important to do things the right way by getting the parents’ approval and having it done in public. By virtue of this, Allah will put blessing and goodness in the marriage.
2. Remaining chaste until marriage.. We admit that it is difficult for a young person to stay away from unlawful relations with members of the opposite sex in our corrupted societies. Evil has become prevalent and it is difficult for the youth to remain chaste. The youth should keep in mind that there are great virtues for protecting their chastity in this age of immorality. Rasulullah Salallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam has guaranteed Paradise for a person who controls his tongue and private parts. (Sahih Bukhari) Similarly, the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) has also stated that a person who really likes a member of the opposite sex, then stays chaste and conceals his love will receive the reward of a martyr. (Maqaasid Al-Hasana) We need to educate the youth about the importance of being chaste and support them as much as possible in order to facilitate this great test.
3. Fasting. Rasulullah Salallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam has given us another option for making it easier for the youth to control their desires. He has prescribed fasting as a way to temporarily decrease the sexual desire of the youth. (Sahih Bukhari) This will greatly aid the youth to remain chaste.
Allah knows best.
Abdullah Nana