Question
I have a problem of masturbating. But because it is haraam I have an alternative. Is pillow sex haraam?
Answer
Masturbating is Makrooh Tahreemi according to the opinion of Allama Ibn Human Hanafi. The reason for this is not just the usage of both hands, but also the extracting of semen in an unnatural way. Of course there are many other things that bring us pleasure, However they are harmful for our boday as well as our mind and our soul hence, not permitted.
Dr Aftab Ahmed writes in his book “Aadabul Mubasharat”:
“The penis has a soft tissue. It is like a sponge. It hardens upon erection. When it is rubbed with the hands then that softness fades away and the skin hardens. This results in the size begin reduced. The veins swell and the roots are thinned. When sexual intercourse is intended then the full pleasure is not achieved.
Continuous habit of masturbating causes meekness in the body and takes away the good looks from the face.The eyes go inside and black holes are formed around them. Such a person then stays in a state of confusion and pessimism overcomes him. In some cases such persons have become suicidal.
This habit starts in young age. If it continues after marriage, then sensual feeling diminishes very quickly. The semen slips out easily and such persons may be unable to satisfy their wives. This leads to impotency. Sometimes it could result in epilepsy as well.”
You may ask that what is the cure for this. I would say that:
- First lower your gaze.
- Avoid all forms of nudity, pictures, papers, magazines, porn films, etc.
- Some foods heat up the body like kebabs, burgers, hot masalaas, dates, etc. Avoid them. Other foods cool down the body, like yoghurt, lettuce, cucumber, melon, etc. Control your eating habit. See a dietitian or a hakeem.
- Abundance of Zikrullah, perform Salaah with punctuality and keep in close company with pious people.
- Fasting abundantly as it’s mentioned in a Hadeeth.
- Realise that this is an unnatural way and it should be avoided even according to the medical experts.
- And lastly get married quickly. Talk to your parents. If you feel shy to speak to your dad, tell your mum to find someone for you. Sometimes parents don’t realise the needs of their child until they are told. When repeated requests are put before them, they start to get the ball rolling and in our custom, it takes some time before a person can get married and settle down.
I will constantly make dua for you and all my friends out there who are in this difficulty, that may Allah s.w.t protect you, take care of you, fulfill all your needs, forgive you and be pleased with you. Ameen