Home » Hanafi Fiqh » Seekersguidance.org » Should I Marry a Girl Who Is Hurting Herself Because She Cannot Be With Me?

Should I Marry a Girl Who Is Hurting Herself Because She Cannot Be With Me?

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Seekersguidance.org
Answered by Ustadha Shazia Ahmad


My father and wife are against second marriage. I know most South Asian scholars forbid it. But I find myself morally obliged to marry her because I wish to stop the possibility of sin and will also help her be in good health. The girl in question is compromising her health for the last two years.


Assalamu alaykum,

Thank you for your question. 

I see that you have found yourself in quite a pickle. You are not stating your feelings in the question which tells me that you love her too. Start with tawba for getting emotionally attached.

Taking a second wife

It’s not right for you to take a second wife, because of the hardship and pain that it will cause your first wife. You will not be able to fulfill her rights and you won’t be able to see your children as much as you should. Please see these links for more details:

Can the Man I Love Take Me as a Second Wife Despite His Mother’s Disapproval?

Can a Husband Marry a Second Wife Without His First Wife’s Permission?

Halal over haram

Considering that you are already attached to this lady and that you are falling for her ridiculous, cunning plot of blaming you for her poor health, you should pray istikhara, seeking Allah’s ultimate guidance on the matter. If you are genuinely scared that you might sin, and you really don’t fear Allah enough to resist your lust, then perhaps you should consider it. I can’t tell you what to do, but please weigh your options with wisdom, tact, and compassion.

Istikhara Prayer

May Allah give you the best of this world and the next. 

[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad  

Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.


This answer was collected from Seekersguidance.org. It’s an online learning platform overseen by Sheikh Faraz Rabbani. All courses are free. They also have in-person classes in Canada.

Read answers with similar topics: