Question
I have some married friends who have wives that swoon over celebrities in front of them. Even worse, some even comment that they would leave their spouse for a celebrity among many things. As unfair and generalized it may be, it seems that the majority of women are like this, and seeing this type of behavior seriously disgusts me. It turns me off for marriage as I cannot bear the thought of my spouse potentially disrespecting me for a celebrity. What is your advice on this?
Answer
Assalamu alaykum,
Thank you for your question. Fangirling is disgusting and you are correct to feel this way. The good news for you is that there is plenty of fish in the sea who don’t do this.
Choosing a spouse
Always follow the Prophet’s advice when choosing a spouse: The Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “A woman is married for four things: for her wealth, for her lineage, for her beauty or for her piety. Select the pious, may you be blessed!“ [Bukhari & Muslim]
Many pious women would not consider swooping to the level of obsessing over a celebrity because they know that the only real celebrity is the Messenger of Allah, (Allah bless him and give him peace). They also know that real fame is only for those who are mentioned among the angels, as we are told in this Prophetic hadith, “People will not sit in an assembly in which they remember Allah without the angels surrounding them, mercy covering them, and Allah mentioning them among those who are with Him.” [Muslim]
Choosing your friends
If you are spending time with couples like this, I highly encourage you to widen your range of friendships and include religious, pious couples who are foreign to fangirling and fanboying. Consider the Prophetic advice when it comes to your company: The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), said, “The similitude of good company and that of bad company is that of the owner of musk and of the one (iron-smith) blowing bellows, and the owner of musk would either offer you free of charge or you would buy it from him or you would smell its pleasant odour, and so far as one who blows the bellows is concerned, he would either burn your clothes or you shall have to smell its repugnant smell.“ [Muslim]
Consider taking this course on the Adab of Keeping Company
May Allah give you the best of this world and the next and give you a pious family who will be the coolness of your eyes.
[Ustadha] Shazia Ahmad
Checked and Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. She then attended the University of Texas at Austin, where she completed her Master’s in Arabic. Afterward, she moved to Amman, Jordan, where she studied fiqh, Arabic, and other sciences. She recently moved back to Mississauga, Canada, where she lives with her family.