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Been involved with partner who ‘intends to marry me’ in the future

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Qibla.com

Answered by Shaykh Gibril F Haddad

I have been doing a wrong act with a partner who intends to marry me for 4yrs. Although I was ashamed of my act I had continued and had gotten pregnant. I did not want to terminate but was in fear of family and society. I regret everything and repent but fearful of what happens to those who do such acts (I cry for that baby I could have had, had I got more support). I want to continue our relationship, but the Islamic way. but am I allowed to do that? I feel it’s best to stay with whom I’ have shared my scared part to. Right now I  am expected by family members to choose a partner or let them decide. My partner is very reluctant to make the first move, as I am not Bengali but Muslim and his parents may refuse. Should I go for another who my family may choose or stick with the one who I know has repented and together with prayers we may be get Allah’s forgiveness? also I feel although strict but religious family will influence me the right way. Also is it wrong to argue over the fact that one should marry young with an older person because men want young girls.

Answer:
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

A basic condition of repentance is to stop the sin and quit associating with its main causes and means. By continuing to associate with your partner and he with you it appears neither of you has repented. He has not repented if he is still in contact with you unless he changes the character of this contact by coming out in the open right away and marrying you. You are allowed to marry him but his reluctance to “make the first move” after four years of using you and an abortion which you had as a result of this relationship show a man who is still making war against Allah Subhan wa-Ta`ala.

Your repentance necessitates leaving him right away if he refuses. After that you must resolve never to see him or talk to him or have anything to do with him again and make sincere istighfar. Then you can start a new life with the choice of your family in sha’ Allah, if Allah Ta`ala decides to give you a second chance.

May Allah guide you to what is good and right.

Hajj Gibril

GF Haddad

This answer was indexed from Qibla.com, which used to have a repository of Islamic Q&A answered by various scholars. The website is no longer in existence. It has now been transformed into a learning portal with paid Islamic course offering under the brand of Kiflayn.

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