Platonic Friendships?

Answered according to Hanafi Fiqh by

Answered by SunniPath Answer Service Team

I am converting to Islam and I have a question about a male friend that I have. I am engaged to be married and my partner knows of my friend and has spoken to him (we live in Australia and the friend lives in Sweden) I have never met this friend but my fiance and I plan to in the future. My friend and I consider to be brother and sister to eachother. We have helped eachother through hard times and are still doing so (we have similar childhoods). He has met a woman he is in love with and wants to marry and I am in love with my fiance and will marry him in a few months. The relationship between my friend and I is completely platonic, always has been and if I ever meet my friend it was always the intention that my fiance would be there. Is this Haram? 

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

Wa Alaykum Assalam wa Rahmatullah wa Barakatuhu,

In the Name of Allah, Most Merciful & Compassionate

Congratulations on coming to Islam, may Allah bless you in this life and the hereafter…ameen.

As Ustadha Zaynab Ansari has previously stated:

“It depends what you mean by “friends.” If you mean “friend” in the Western sense, where you hang out and spend time together and go places, then no, this is not allowed. Islam doesn’t allow free intermingling of the sexes for the simple reason that whenever men and women are together, there is always the possibility, whether latent or actual, of being tempted to do something improper.

That having been said, Islam is also practical. When there is a legitimate need for men and women to work together, they may do so, provided that everyone observes the proper etiquette (adab). The Qur’an describes the relationship between believing men and women as follows, “And the believers, men and women, are protecting friends one of another: they enjoin what is just and forbid what is evil; they observe regular prayers, practice regular charity, and obey Allah and His Messenger. On them will Allah pour His mercy: for Allah is Exalted in power, Wise. (Al-Tauba, 9:71)

In this verse, the Qur’an does speak of the believers as friends. But this is in the spiritual sense, and is very different from the Western concept of friendship.”

Having said that, even though you feel the friendship is ‘platonic’ and you would meet him only in the company of your husband, one should exercise caution, as there may be long-term negative effects on both his marriage and yours.

If you have any other questions, please feel free to ask.


Please also see the following links related to your question:

Are females allowed to have male friends?

Mixed-Sex conversation: Proofs?

Mixed Gatherings: A detailed response regarding gender interaction

Choice of friends


SunniPath Fiqh Team

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