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In my mid 30’s and still not married

​Q: I am in mid 30s and live abroad, work and independent. My parents did not try enough to find a suitable match for me at the right age when I was in my 20s. Now they are trying but finding proposals who want to marry me for immigration status. My parents live back home. My married brother lives in the same city as I do, but he does not help me much in finding a partner. I have tried asking them, and when they try they just find some useless match and ask me to marry. I think my parents are responsible for my situation and also my brother doesn’t help me. I tried to find myself and people take advantage. I am really frustrated and don’t feel like keeping good relations with my family
as I have helped them especially my brother so much, but they don’t do anything for me. What should I do? Where should I find happiness and a life partner for me. I tried so much on my own through matrimonial websites, Musjid Imams etc. but now my age has become a huge obstacle. I live alone and am so desperate to have a family of my own where someone cares for me too, as my family don’t care much. I asked my father to go for umrah with me, for which I was willing to pay everything, but he is not interested. I can’t even go to umrah without a mahram. Please tell me what you would suggest in my miserable situation as I hate everyone as no one helps, and in turn they want my help all the time for worldly things.


A: A Mu’min, in whichever condition he may be, should turn to Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى). The solutions of all problems lie in the hands of Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى). In order for one to receive the mercy of Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) and barkat in his life, one should ensure that he is leading a life according to the Sunnah and not displeasing Allah Ta’ala at any time. Be conscious of observing purdah, guarding the eyes and the tongue and performing the five daily Salaah on it’s prescribed time. Recite رَبِّ إِنِّي لِمَا أَنزَلْتَ إِلَيَّ مِنْ خَيْرٍ فَقِيرٌ after your five daily Salaah and constantly make dua that Allah Ta’ala bless you with a pious spouse.

Answered by:

Mufti Zakaria Makada

Checked & Approved:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)

This answer was collected from MuftiOnline.co.za, where the questions have been answered by Mufti Zakaria Makada (Hafizahullah), who is currently a senior lecturer in the science of Hadith and Fiqh at Madrasah Ta’leemuddeen, Isipingo Beach, South Africa.

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