Parents giving preference to one child over the rest

Answered according to Hanafi Fiqh by

Q: I am the eldest of four sisters. My parents have one ‘perfect’ favourite. Often even if this favourite does something wrong we are reprimanded and punished. If we bring up the fact that it was her not us they tell us to ‘ shut your mouth’ ‘ you are x years old you should know better’ ‘drop it’ etc and get angered. Often the youngest is disciplined because of the other ones behaviour. This is unfair and I try to make them understand but then I’m seen as the bad one. This sister now has a mindset that she is superior to us and ignores and causes problems for us. We now feel inferior, useless and unnecessary as children to the extent that I have considered running away. I don’t know what to do my parents are always kind and religious but when it comes to fairness between their offspring the rest of us cannot measure up to their special one often we are told to leave her be and be better or nicer to her which is very hard. Mufti saab please advise.



1. Ta`leem of Fazaa’il-e-A`maal, Fazaa’il-e-Sadaqaat and Bahishti Zewar.

2. Recitation of a portion of the Qur’aan Shareef and some zikr.

3. Collective du`aa with the family at the end of each session.

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.


Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)

This answer was collected from, where the questions have been answered by Mufti Zakaria Makada (Hafizahullah), who is currently a senior lecturer in the science of Hadith and Fiqh at Madrasah Ta’leemuddeen, Isipingo Beach, South Africa.

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