Q: I would like to know is not loving yourself haraam or a sin? I don’t like myself, in fact I hate myself. I’m soo tired of having this ugly body and looks. I don’t love myself at all and I never look after myself. e.g I don’t care if i cut my hand with knife, I dont care if I eat too much and get fat, I don’t care if something harms me. I don’t care if Ii get serious illness or cancer etc. Because people around me have hurt me so much with their words and behaviour which makes me feel like this ungrateful and hating myself. I’m tired of feeling ugly, having no confidence and selfesteem. I’m tired of hearing people making negative comments and thoughts about how I look. I’m tired of crying and living lonely. I think Allah also hates me, thats why he never helps me or listen to my duas. I want to be happy at least when I die. In my grave and in jannah which is why I am asking is it gunaah to hate yourself and how you look? How can I overcome this hate feeling for myself?
A: On account of people’s negative criticism why should you hurt yourself. By hurting yourself deliberately you will not improve your Jannah in any way. Look for ways through which you will improve your Jannah and aakhirat. The best way is to be happy and pleased in the way Allah has made you, Many a times we aspire for something but that does not work out, and not working out is really a blessing in disguise. Through this you are saved from many wrongs and Allah willing from greater misfortunes and calamities as well.
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)