I am a new revert i have a problem. the past 5 years i was in a relationship with a man and i love him,, i was not muslim 5 years ago . he is a muslim. i was told we cannot get married because we dated ? what are the rules on marrige, iin this case?
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Sister in Islam,
We are very much pleased to know that you have accepted Islam. We congratulate you on becoming a Muslim. We hope and pray to Allah that He may grant you steadfastness and the true understanding of this pure religion. Aameen.
We would also like to mention that we are sorry to hear that the man in reference did not show you the true colors of Islam as he ought to have. Unfortunately, you were exposed to such a conduct that is completely against the pure teachings of Islam.
Islam condemns and is averse to any form of pre-marital relationships. Islam considers the general chastity of society at large and therefore emphasises on the abstention of all forms of illicit and impermissible relationships. Consider the following verse:
وَلاَ تَقْرَبُواْ الزِّنَى
“And do not even draw (go) near to fornication (do not indulge in anything that may lead to it).” (Surah Al-Israa’: Ayat 32)
Not only does Islam prohibit zina, it prohibits all avenues and means leading towards zina. This is achieved by forbidding every step and means leading to stimulating desires, opening ways to impermissible relationships between men and women.
Nevertheless, if you feel that the man in reference is suitable for you to marry then you should consider the issue seriously by consulting appropriate people and by making istikharah. (You may refer to this link for the procedure of istikharah: http://askimam.org/public/question_detail/28337)
In principle, it is permissible to marry a person with whom one had an illegitimate relationship.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Fahad Abdul Wahab
Student Darul Iftaa
USA
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai