Answered by Shaykh Yūsuf Badāt
Question:
When having intercourse with my husband, images of my children come into my head which make me sick and I try to get them out of my mind. These thoughts put me off. Recently, I read about ḥurmat al-muṣāharah rules. Since then I get misgivings about my kids. This makes me sick and I do repent straight away. I am so scared to even touch my children. I feel that as soon as they come close to me, I get anxiety and start getting scared. My heart starts to beat fast. I have been reading Qur’ān, prayers and also asking Allāh for help and forgiveness. I have no dirty feelings for my sons. However, I’m so scared. I question myself every time they come close. I cannot eat or sleep. This is ruining my life. I even think I’m better off dead.
Answer:
بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيْم
In the name of Allāh, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
Jazāk Allāh Khayr/ Thank you for contacting Mathabah.
From what you have described, ḥurmat al-muṣāharah (incest) has not taken place. These are devilish whispers that you are experiencing and you should do your best to ignore and repel them.
In general, parents kiss, hug and touch their children on the basis of parental love and affection, which is praiseworthy.
Ḥurmat Al-Muṣāharah is incest which is based on sexual temptations and lustful advances. – (See: Al-Bināyah Sharḥ Al-Hidāyah, Vol 4, Page 45, Dār Al-Kutub Al-‘Ilmīyyah) [1]
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Allāh has forgiven my followers the evil thoughts that occur in their minds, as long as such thoughts are not put into action or uttered.” – (Ṣaḥīḥ Bukhārī 5269)[2]
Only Allāh knows best.
[1] الرجعة والمصاهرة: يعني أنهما يثبتان بالقبلة بالشهوة وكذا بالمس وإن لم ينزل – كتاب البناية شرح الهداية ج٤/ ص٤٥ دار الكتب العلمية
[2] عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ رضى الله عنه عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ إِنَّ اللَّهَ تَجَاوَزَ عَنْ أُمَّتِي مَا حَدَّثَتْ بِهِ أَنْفُسَهَا مَا لَمْ تَعْمَلْ أَوْ تَتَكَلَّمْ – رواه البخاري ٥٢٦٩