Answered by: Maulana Mohammed Haroon Hussain
Assalamualaykum. I have OCD. I was responding to a thought that was asking is obeying Allah Fard Ayn and because there was still this feeling inside I asked a Shaykh on a platform who may take about a week to respond. After this when in the washroom, I may have had a thought about that: I have asked and to now wait and I wondered if I was telling myself I have fulfilled my duty and I’ve asked one person and to now wait. Then after this during Salah, I started to fear something like that was I saying that it’s okay to remain in doubt for a week and so I feared I had fallen into kufr but I did not rush my Salah but I intended that when I would finish I would say the Shahaadah in case. I also thought that I am going to read the Shahaadah in the Tashahhud too and I intended to turn back. I feel I read the Durood and did not rush and did not finish the Salah before reading Durood. Then when I finished I went to read the Shahaadah with the intention of repenting from kufr and I also made the intention that if I have delayed in repenting then I intended to repent from kufr for that also. But I did not say the Shahaadah as I started to fear this intention about the delay. I feared disrespecting Salah as I was in Salah and so I feared saying I intend to repent from being engaged in Salah, so I feared I may have fallen into kufr for this. Then I intended that if I had fallen into kufr at all, whether it was about this intent or whether earlier when I was washroom. In any of these instances, did I do kufr?
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
From your above statements, it is apparent that you did not commit kufr. You are thinking too much and reading far too deeply into simple thoughts. Yes, obeying Allah (SWT) is Fardh Ayn as it is a duty upon everyone to do. Ultimately, the benefit is for everyone too because they will acquire Allah’s pleasure and success in both worlds.
In the future, do not entertain such thoughts. There is no harm in asking questions but you should not start to doubt whether or not you have committed kufr as this will make your life very difficult. Stay positive and do not let your OCD bring you to these sorts of situations. Now you have your answer: you did not commit kufr – you can move on. Please do not spend any more time thinking about this. Instead, spend your time doing good actions and pursuits that will benefit you in this life or the next.
Only Allah knows best
Written by Maulana Mohammed Haroon Hussain
Checked and approved by Mufti Mohammed Tosir Miah
Darul Ifta Birmingham