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What are Islamic teachings on in-laws and parents interfering in marriage?

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Darulifta-Deoband.com
Please answer the following questions in the light of the holy Quran and Hadith.
(1) A couple is residing in a foreign country for the past 10 years without any problems. Recently in-laws (husband’s parents) went on visitor’s visa and stayed for 3 months there. Father and mother of the husband started dominating the daughter-in-law by taking control of the kitchen etc., instigating the son against his wife and always try to dilute and degrade the wife proving that she is fit for nothing. But in reality it is other way round. Most of the times, the husband has supported his wife and this irritates the in-laws very much. Indirectly they used to pass degrading comments in the absence of their son. In short, they want to take overall control of the house/wealth and everything and expect the wife to be a maid though the wife is highly qualified and a house-wife looking after her small son. Now they are in India but again trying hard to visit that country again and may cause these problems. In fact they are trying to stay permanently in that place. Please let me know what are the directions of Allah and His beloved Prophet (May peace and Allah’s blessings be upon him) for such type of in-laws.
(2) How much husband’s parents (in-laws) interference is allowed in the relationship of wife and husband in Islam?
(3) They prevent their son to sleep with wife and misguide him giving the reason that since he is a surgeon, he needs complete rest and sound sleep. So, wife and son sleep in one room and husband in another. They openly oppose them to sleep together. Even during day time they try not to allow them to be together for more than half an hour. With one reason or other the mother will enter their room like giving her son cut fruits, taking the baby outside or sometimes the wife observed the mother will be standing outside the room listening to their conversation. She thinks the wife may instigate her husband against them. In the light of the Holy Quran and Hadith, please let me know what is the fate of such parents after their death? What is the right of wife in this case? Are in-laws doing right by preventing husband and wife from being together?
(4) The son feels he has to obey everything whatever his parents say and feels he will be committing a sin if does not obey them especially matters like money, wife, purchase of properties etc. Is it obligatory for a son to obey every word of his parents especially when dealing with his wife and kids?
(5) Does the son’s house and wealth belong only to his parents? Does wife has any right over husband’s house and wealth.


(Fatwa: 547/444/B=1434)

(1) This attitude of your husband’s family is shameful. They should live as guest with respect and should avoid mischievousness.
(2) They do not have any right to interfere in the personal matter of husband and wife.
(3) Adopt any wise method to get them leave your home, so that they could not interfere any more.
(4) No doubt it is necessary for a son to obey his parents, but one should not disobey Allah in obeying his parents.
(5) Yes, wife also has her rights as parents also have their rights. But it is not lawful in any case to play foul games.

Allah (Subhana Wa Ta’ala) knows Best

Darul Ifta,
Darul Uloom Deoband

This answer was collected from the official ifta website of Darul Uloom Deoband in India.

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