Q: For last 3 years I had sex with prostitutes on a regular basis. I have made tawbah (repentance) previously but again relapsed to this great sin. Now I really feel shattered and even feel too bad to ask for Allah’s mercy. What should I do?
The other thing is my parents want me to get married. Should I ever get married? If I never get married and never have sex in my life again will Allah forgive me?
The fact that you have regret is a good sign. It is mentioned in a Hadeeth that regret is also Taubah. Even though you have previously made Taubah and relapsed, do not become despondent. A person with Imaan never becomes despondent of the mercy of Allah Ta’aala. It is the deception of Shaytaan when a person ‘feels bad’ to ask for the mercy of Allah. Shaytaan wants that you become despondent and cease making Taubah. Do not fall prey to his tricks. Why should a person stop making Taubah if he has not given up committing sin? A Buzurg says in a poem that if you fall a hundred times then get up a hundred times. Do not remain where you have fallen. Whenever a sin is committed, it is the incumbent duty of the bondsman to resort to Taubah, irrespective of the sin being repeated. One day that Taubah will have its desired effect and that person will give up that sin completely Inshaa Allah.
Previous sins should not deter a person from marriage. Never having sex again is not part of the Taubah. Divine forgiveness is attained by repenting and thereafter staying away from that sin. You do not have to give up sex completely to gain the forgiveness of Allah. By marrying, you will now make the sexual relationship Halaal for yourself with your wife. This is one the purposes of marriage; to abstain from Haraam and enjoy that which is Halaal (your wife). May Allah accept your Taubah and grant you piety, Aameen.
Moulana Yusuf Laher
Checked and approved by: Mufti Siraj Desai