Who is responsible for maintaining my children if their father is unable to do so?

I am now 18 months divorced. My marriage of … years ended as a result of drug addiction. I have five children. Four live with me – one is at Darul Uloom. Their father because of his habit is irresponsible and is in and out of jobs and does not provide any maintenance towards his children. He has mentioned to my son that even if he has money, his parents take it away from him as he is owing them money. This I feel is unjustified as their first concern should be in sending maintenance towards their grandchildren. I know they feel that since I own a shop I can provide for them but they are blind to the challenges I face and the debts I am trying to pay because of their son’s drugging over the years. His parents are self sufficient, not battling at all and his two brothers are wealthy and always donating to charity. What am I to do in my situation? Am I to just pretend that my kids’ father and his family are non-existent. Are non of them answerable to Allah for their don’t care financial attitude towards my children. If a father is unable to maintain his children, who comes next in shouldering his responsibility

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

Sister-in-Islam,

We understand your predicament and sympathise with you. Most definitely, it is not easy to cope with such problems and we make du’ā Allāh alleviate your woes. Constantly make du’ā to Allāh and seek his help in facilitating the easy repayment of your debts. The following du’ā is effective in over coming anxiety and debts:

اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنَ الهَمِّ وَالحَزَنِ، وَالعَجْزِ وَالكَسَلِ، وَالجُبْنِ وَالبُخْلِ، وَضَلَعِ الدَّيْنِ، وَغَلَبَةِ الرِّجَالِ[1]

Transliteration: Allahumma innee a‘oodhu bika minal hammi wal hazan wal ‘ajzi wal kasal wal jubn wal bukhl wa dala ‘id dayn wa ghalabatirrijaal

Translation: Oh Allah, I seek your protection from stress, depression, weakness, laziness, miserliness, cowardice, the burden of debts and being overpowered by men.

As far as the maintenance of your children is concerned, their grandfather is responsible for providing the maintenance.[2] He is answerable if he turns a blind eye towards his responsibility.

We advise that you ask some senior family member to discuss the matter with your in-laws, present your problems and grievances and enlighten them regarding their duty towards the children in a wise and polite manner. 

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Nabeel Valli

Student Darul Iftaa
Lusaka, Zambia

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

www.daruliftaa.net