I have been divorced for three years now. My divorce was caused by my husband having an extramarital affair, then making tawba and marrying the sister. He also failed to provide sustenance for the duration of our marriage, and has provided only $40 every three months for the care of his two children ever since. I used to take them for visits, but he moved, and hasn’t returned to visit them in five months. He also neglects to call them more than once every few months. Do I have a right to file for full, permanent custody so that he doesn’t show up and take them one day? The law in America doesn’t protect me to keep them unless there is a custody order in place, and I know he’s proven to have erratic, irresponsible behavior. Please let me know if this is within my haqq to protect my family.
In the Name of Allāh, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
We sympathize with your situation and understand your predicament. It is indeed sad to note that you had to face such tragic circumstances during and after your marriage along with the irresponsible behaviour of your husband. May Allāh Ta‘āla grant you ease in all of your matters.
According to Shar’iah, the mother has the right of custody of her female child from birth until puberty. The father has the right of custody from puberty until marriage. With regards to a male child, the mother has the right of custody from birth until the age of seven while the father has the right of custody from age seven until puberty.[1]
In your case, it appears your children are within the age of your right of custody. Accordingly, you may legally confirm your right of custody. If your children are beyond the right of custody for you, even in that case, the father’s conduct is apparently against the interest of the children. As such, you may still claim custody as that is in the interest of your children.[2] If the father wishes to visit his children, he will have the right to do so.
And Allah Ta‘āla Knows Best
Fahad Abdul Wahab
Student Darul Iftaa
USA
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
[1] والأم والجدة أحق بالغلام حتى يأكل وحده ويلبس وحده ويستنجي وحده، وبالجارية حتى تحيض
(والأم والجدة أحق بالغلام حتى) يستغني، بأن (يأكل وحده) ويشرب وحده (ويلبس وحده، ويستنجي وحده) ، لأن تمام الاستغناء بالقدرة على الاستنجاء، قال في الهداية: ووجهه أنه إذا استغنى يحتاج إلى التأديب والتخلق بآداب الرجال وأخلاقهم والأب أقدر على التأديب والتثقيف. والخصاف قدر الاستغناء بسبع سنين اعتباراً للغالب. اهـ. (و) هما أحق (بالجارية حتى تحيض) أي تبلغ، لأن بعد الاستغناء تحتاج إلى معرفة آداب النساء، والمرأة على ذلك أقدر، وبعد البلوغ تحتاج إلى التحصين والحفظ، والأب فيه أقوى وأهدى. هداية
[اللباب في شرح الكتاب ج٤ ص٢٥٨ دار البشائر الاسلامية / دار السراج ]
[2] مثلا إذا جاء يسئل عن اخت له في حضانة امها، وقد انتهت مدة الحضانة، ويريد أخذها من أمها، ونعلم أنه لو اخذها من أمها لضاعت عنده، و ما قصده بأخذها إلا أذية أمها، أو التوصل إلى الاستيلاء على مالها، أو ليزوجها لآخر، و يتزوج بها بنته أو أخته، وأمثال ذلك.
فعلى المفتي إذا رأى ذلك أن يحاول في الجواب، ويقوله: الإضرار لا يجوز، و نحو ذلك.
[نشر العرف في بناء بعض الأحكام على العرف ص١٥٤ مركز البحوث الإسلامية، مردان]