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Waswasa of being married

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In my past like 4 years ago I’ve had boys ask me to marry them on message and I’d say yeah I can’t remember specifically but I’d tell my friends boys and girls and also at the time my friends boys and girls would be there listening to me read my messages saying yeah or even if my friends girls or boys were there of the numerous messages of marriage – I can’t remember at all if that was even the case. I was a lost cause hence so many friends were male. And that’s why I’m even more afraid! I can’t remmeber Im having so many Waswasa and I’m scared that my marriage is done. At the time I can’t remember.. At all.. !!

Who was there and who wasn’t and who heard and who didn’t and did I read the messages clearly or what? I don’t know I was young and stupid and had no intention of marrying.

Please can you reply to me and reassure me nikah is not valid by these messages. And I don’t know if the boys even showed his messages to his guy friends or not but they probably did I’m sure of it but then again like I said I don’t know and I wouldn’t know I can’t remember it was a long time ago im getting so much Waswasa. In all this I’ve never had the intention of actually marrying at that moment! Please reassure me? Furthermore these boys in my past have have said nikah declarences in private such as in a car and in public places such as college/uni and park, playground, on the streets, school, Sheesha places and in general places everywhere, we’ve never specifically brought people for the intention of nikah but I’m unaware If our male friends overheard our conversation of marriage and saying ijaab and qabool cause they were always there! also I’m unaware if people passing overheard our conversations..

I’m really worried that nikah would have been done.. I’ve been aquainted with more than one boy In my past too. I can’t stop the waswasa and my parents are getting suspicious as I’m pro longing my nikah with someone who I’ve been praying forever to find someone like him.

Please help me. I’m going crazy with waswasa and doubts and making scenarios in my head that didn’t happen and reassuring myself it did.. I’m scared my Nikah is done already and I don’t know it. Please help me. JazakAllah

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

You may be aware that intermingling with boys is haram. Haram comes with many negative consequences. You are also witnessing some of the negative consequences. Make Tawba and never be free with boys again. Shaytaan will play with your mind and put more waswasa in you.

You enquired whether reading messages or getting messages from boys regarding marriage constitutes a valid nikah. Accordingly to the procedure explained by you, nikah did not take place[1].

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Immad Bin Arshad

Student Darul Iftaa
California, USA

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

www.daruliftaa.net


[1] دار البشائر الإسلامية  اللباب في شرح الكتاب (4/ 6)

(ولا ينعقد نكاح المسلمين) بصيغة المثنى (إلا بحضور شاهدين حرين بالغين عاقلين مسلمين) سامعين معاً قولهما فاهمين كلامهما على المذهب كما في البحر

مختصر اختلاف العلماء دار البشائر الإسلامية (2/ 251)

قَالَ أَبُو جَعْفَر اتّفق الْجَمِيع أَنه لَا بُد من إِظْهَار عقد النِّكَاح للتفريق بَين الْمَعْقُود عَلَيْهَا بِنِكَاح وَبِغير الْمَعْقُود عَلَيْهَا طَائِفَة شرطت إِظْهَاره للشُّهُود وَطَائِفَة إِخْرَاجه عَن أَن يكون سرا غير مَكْتُوم وَإِن لم يحضرهُ أحد ثمَّ يشْهد بعد ذَلِك

الدر المختار وحاشية ابن عابدين (رد المحتار) (5/ 462)

(قوله شرائط مكانها واحد) أي مجلس القضاء منح

Aap kay masail Vol.5 Pg.62

This answer was collected from Askimam.org, which is operated under the supervision of Mufti Ebrahim Desai from South Africa.

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